AND SO IT BEGINS......

2011-07-30T23:04:00.000+08:00

Have you ever felt alone in life,
Felt no-one cared for you?
Or been out with group of friends,
And felt alone then too?
Have you ever had a broken heart,
You felt couldn't be repaired?
Or to touch somebody with your words,
But knew nobody cared?
Have you ever needed good advice,
But were too afraid to call?
Or felt separated from the world,
Surrounded by a brick wall?
Have you ever been asked about your future,
And said you couldn't care less?
Have you ever felt so confused,
That you couldn't even cry?
Have you ever felt so damn depressed,
Have you ever wished to die?

Should I start blogging again?

2011-07-30T19:03:00.001+08:00

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Recovery period?

2010-11-04T02:00:00.003+08:00

I can't seem to find any words nor time to write on this blog. Though the purpose of purchasing notebook and smart phone was to be able to get in touch with friends via network instead of having a cuppa at Starbucks.

But ever since the tragedy, I find it even harder to write. Even though I looked as if I've fully recovered, there were times where I just feels like giving up everything and run off to just let all the pain subside. Unfortunately it doesn't. I'm still waiting for time to help me heal...

Dear God! I missed her so much. I missed our late evening conversation while I'm driving home from work. I missed to the argument we both have when it comes to obeying husband's request. (Her daughter does not bow to his commands... Hahaha) I missed the moment where we would dissed out our thought about my siblings. Sorry guys... Can't help it. I'm pretty sure you guys talked about me too.

Hubby offered himself in case I need someone to talk to. But it just doesn't work that way. I know he is supposedly my other half. But I need a mother's word of wisdom. No, it didn't work with my mom-in-law either. It just had to mom.

Some people might find it hard to understand how in the world did I get to be so close with my mom. trust me it was not easy. It took us 25 years to get able to talk about feelings. After I got married, she mellowed.... Before that she was a tough lady you just do not want to mess with. I felt like having a headmistress in the house. Hahaha.. Kidding!! Guess at one point she realized her girls are all grown up.

One thing I love about my mom, she does not sugar coat life. Her advice was no matter how hard life treat you, you still have a choice to be happy. Whatever happens, no matter what the consequences will be, the choice is yours to make. People can say whatever they want but it doesn't necessarily will do you any good. What matter's is what's your heart is saying, what's your conscious is hinting. Basically what does you guts telling you.

So right about now.. my whole body is giving me a sign to let them rest... Better log off now before I passed my bedtime.

Happy 3rd Birthday Rizqeen Hani

2010-08-17T23:56:00.001+08:00

Happy 5th Birthday Imran Haris

2010-08-16T08:00:00.005+08:00

11th of August - 1st Ramadhan

2010-08-16T07:40:00.005+08:00

Below is just an excerpt from online news about the accident that took my mom's life. I'm still having a hard time to write. Perhaps another time...

KUALA LIPIS - Pengetua Sekolah Menengah Sultan Ahmad Shah, Cameron Highlands maut manakala suaminya yang memandu kenderaan terbabit cedera ringan apabila kereta yang mereka naiki terbabas ke bawah tebing.
Ketua Polis Daerah, Superitendan Abdul Razak Hassan berkata, mangsa, Nishah Ismail bersama suaminya, Ali Hussein Abdul Ghani yang juga Pegawai Pelajaran Daerah Cameron Highlands sedang dalam perjalanan ke Kuantan atas urusan kerja.
Menurutnya, kejadian terbabit berlaku kira-kira jam 4.30 petang kelmarin di Kilometer 27 Jalan Sungai Koyan - Cameron Highlands.
“Mangsa bersama suami menaiki kenderaan jenis CRV sedang dalam perjalanan dari Cameron Highlands ke Kuantan. Sampai di tempat kejadian, kereta yang dipandu suami mangsa hilang kawalan lalu terbabas ke kiri jalan dan masuk ke bawah tebing.
“Mangsa cedera parah di kepala dan meninggal dunia di tempat kejadian. Manakala suami mangsa hanya cedera ringan dan dirawat sebagai pesakit luar di Hospital Lipis,” katanya, di sini, kelmarin.
Abdul Razak berkata, mayat mangsa dibawa ke Hospital Lipis untuk dibedah siasat dan dituntut ahli keluarga sebelum dikebumikan di kampung asal arwah di Kota Bharu, Kelantan

Career vs Family

2010-08-08T15:21:00.003+08:00

When I started working, it never cross my mind I would actually be starting a career. I just need a job and fast. Though it did occur to me I have to proof to them I am good at whatever task they throw to me. Why? Because I'm competing with kids 6 years my junior! If I don't perform, they might as well hire someone younger.

After one year of showing them what I'm capable off, I did get the reward I deserved. Perhaps more than what I thought I deserved. So my next target was to find a place closer to home so I can spend more time with my family. And I did mention this to my boss. So, when the half-year review came, she asked me again about my plans. Am I going to go through with it? Being the honest me, I told her it's not easy for me to decide. If I were to change, it would mean less pay and more work. Not necessarily more time at work but definitely more paperwork to handle. And I do have to sacrifice my Saturdays depends on which company I'm going to. So that is not really a good option. The perks is that the office is around 3-5 km from home. And I would end up with less pay than what I'm getting now. A lot less!

This is what she had to say. As a mother and a friend she understands my concern and what motivates me to consider those options. She too have 2 kids about the same age as mine. Being able to send them to school and play time is precious. But as a Manager, she has to be selfish. She doesn't want me to leave and would like to do anything she could to get me to stay. However that does not mean she will force me to stay. She will respect my decision either way. She has plans for me and that plans means more responsibility. Her plans goes more than 12 months for me.

I was a bit stunned and wasn't able to comment anything on that. But I assured her if I am leaving I will not leave her hanging. Besides there are others that are capable to do what I do. The one and only different is I am loud. Hahaha... Seriously. Most of my team mates are not vocal people. Unfortunately for her, I am. I would say what's on my mind and will admit to whatever mistakes I did. She said the most significant trade that I have is that I can take criticism positively. And to her that is one of the most important for someone to be able to further his or herself in an organization.

So now I am torn between family and career. I am still not looking for one. But if I were to be offered with a career plus good reward. Who am I to say no to that? No worries, I still have 2011 to think about it.

Family trip to none other than Port Dickson

2010-08-08T11:46:00.005+08:00

Finally we managed to go for a family vacation last weekend. After all the brainstorming on where to go we decided on the nearest spot. Port Dickson, Negeri Sembilan. To add to the excitement, we're going there without hotel reservation. We're gonna take our chance on just walking in and book a room.

So after the parents-teacher session at Imran's kindy, we're off. The journey was fine because kids we're asleep all the way. We even had time to drive along before deciding to stay at Permaisuri Resorts. They only provide apartments. So we took the Studio Apartment and requested for extra mattress. The appearance and facility was okay but the cafe was terrible. There were flies everywhere. And the service was not that bad, given the fact that most of them are new at this. I can seem to trace any experienced staff but they were helpful. I'm giving them few months for the next visit.

Anyway, we had a blast at Blue Lagoon beach. Yes, that is the name on the place. The water was great and Imran had fun building his sandcastles. Would you believe me when I say I never build one myself? So this thing is new to me too! Hahaha... Hani also had a blast. Not once she made anyone miserable. Except when she wanted to sleep in our bed instead of hers. At one point the only regret I have is that Imran couldn't make new friends at the beach. The kids were not being friendly. And most of the people there were young couples fooling around with each other. And I do mean fooling around in the water.

Enough rambling. I can't wait for another family trip. Hope It'll be soon...

So much for moderation..

2010-07-25T22:45:00.003+08:00

I just spent my money on a new phone. Not just a phone, but a smart phone. I don't really need one but somehow with all the temptation and persuasion from Hubby, I bought it. So now I own a smart phone which I have no idea how to use. Besides my current service provider doesn't really provide me with any data usage plan, so I might transfer to another and opt for smart plan. First, Hubby has to disown me from his supplementary plan. Haha..

The thought of buying a smart phone never occurs to me but somehow the urge to be able to browse without the hassle of opening my netbook is so tempting. Especially when Hubby kept looking to his phone whenever we went out. It's so frustrating. Oh wait, I think jealous is the more appropriate word to describe the feeling.

Oh well, what's done is done... I'm gonna have fun with my new gadget!

Book hunting failure

2010-07-06T18:15:00.006+08:00

Ever since I read Trudi's Black Magician's Trilogy, I am obsessed with fantasy books. Currently hunting for children's book by Angie Sage. The Araminta Spookie's books. Right now she already published 5 books and waiting to finish number 6. So I still have time to start collecting. But I'm having a hard time to find the first book. Went to 3 different bookstore today. One of it got book 2,3 and 4. But I couldn't make myself jump books so I guess I have to wait for weekend.... Sigh... Hopefully Hubby will back me on this hunt.

Image taken from http://septimusheap.wordpress.com/araminta-spookie/

Big and Small

2010-07-01T21:01:00.003+08:00

Today Imran brought back his bean sprouts from school. I didn't even know he was growing one until today. Guess I missed the story. Heheh..

Anyways, on the way back from Grandma's he was telling me on how he plant the small beans for this project. It went like this... more or less...

"Imran ambik small bean and buat macam ni. Lepas tu letak dalam cawan macam ni. Small aje bean dia. Tapi nanti dia grow. Kena letak air baru dia grow. Bean tu kecik aje macam tikus. Kalau besar macam giant. Macam orang besar. Orang tuh besar sampai cloud. Dia cucuk cloud lepas tu hujan."

Yes, it went from small bean to giant people poking the cloud. Apparently that's why it rains. Hahaha...

I love Toy Story 3!!!

2010-06-27T21:34:00.002+08:00

I am so glad I queued for the tickets!! It was so worth it. Even Imran wasn't able to say anything throughout the movie. He would usually called out "Ibu, Ibu, Ibu, apa dia buat?" or "Abah, Abah, Abah, tengok ni.. Imran pun strong" much to my annoyance. Hehehe...

Anyway, I would definitely be collecting Toy Story DVD's. Or should we opt for Bluray? Is that okay Hun?

Black Magician's Trilogy - DONE

2010-06-26T21:49:00.004+08:00

(Picture taken from Little Brown, Book Group)

I have finished reading these three books within one week. I am now looking forward to continue with The Traitor Spy Trilogy. Can't wait for the complete set to be publish.

Let's bring on the fantasy...

2010-06-21T15:05:00.004+08:00

Back in the days as a student, I was into fantasy stories. A guy I was chatting with introduced me to the Wheel of Time books. Unfortunately I could only read until book 9. Kinda lost attention for the following book. And I were to continue reading, I would have to start reading back the previous books. Which will only happen if I can take a whole week off work and being a mother. Hahah!

Anyway, the other day we went to Tropicana Mall where Borders was having a sale. And I saw Black Magician trilogy. Unfortunately I found the second and third book. But the first one was not available. And I am determine to get the first book no matter what. And I finally got the book yesterday! At Popular book store, I could only get 15% off with member's card rather than the 50% off at Borders. I would've bought all three books if only I had enough cash. So the rest of the trilogy have to wait till my next pay.

I'm already halfway finish and can't wait for weekend to come so I can get the rest. It's kinda light for a fantasy story which suits me just fine. I can't bear to overuse my brain just for reading. Hahah...

Happy Father's Day

2010-06-20T23:33:00.006+08:00

We went out to Subang's Empire Gallery to celebrate Hubby's day. Original plan was to eat at Chili's but the queue was long so we decided Italiannies instead. It was just Hubby's luck that they have promotion for free 1 main course for fathers. And so ended up with Classic Carbonara for the kids and Chicken Parmagiana for Hubby. And I chose Spinach and Artichoke Formaggio. Yes, I chose the starter for my meal, cuz most likely I would end up sharing the other meal. Hahah...

After dinner, we went for a stroll. There wasn't much to see since most of the shop weren't really, how do I say this, our kind of place. Not even for window shopping. Hehe.. Anyways, we had a good time walking around and headed to Starbucks for a light supper. Caramel Latte for me and Mocha Chocolate Chip frappuccino for hubby and as usual he has to share it with Imran ngan Hani.

Happy Father's Day!!!

We love you this (imagine Imran stretching his arms out) much!!

Family vacation

2010-05-30T21:22:00.002+08:00

Since the beginning of the year I've been thinking on family vacation. But nothing seems to come to mine except Genting Highlands. How lame is that? But that's the only place where Imran actually had fun. The only thing missing was a swimming pool. Hahaha...

We tried out spending a day at Sunway Lagoon. Definitely not worth the money. All the kids wanted to play was in the shaded pool. Both were scared of the slides. No, not the big one of course. The ones in the kiddy pool. Well, there goes the trip to Bukit Merah and Lost World of Tambun.

Then there are the islands. Redang? Tioman? Perhentian? Even Hubby agreed there's nothing interesting there other than the beach. And with kids? Definitely a no-no. Langkawi? Penang? Not a big fan either.

So what's left? Overseas? Unfortunately no budget for that. Still figuring out how to save money to go to Disneyland. Hahaha....

Kindergarten Picnic

2010-05-29T17:01:00.004+08:00

Last Thursday I took half day leave to join Imran's kindergarten picnic. And yes, I've almost used up my annual leave this year. So Hubby better get ready to use his for the 2nd half of this year.

Anyways, I brought Hani along for the picnic and made egg sandwich. Both of them had fun. We were so exhausted that I almost did not make it to work.

Happy Mother's Day!!

2010-05-09T16:04:00.003+08:00

No words can describe how I'm feeling right now. I got all these emotion to let out, but somehow it just won't come out. All these mixed feeling for my family can really drive some mothers to the edge. But with these two scoundrels around, I have always managed to keep sane. Hahaha... Cause no matter how crazy my days goes, Imran and Hani always and I mean always managed to get me back on the ground.

I need to stop blaming my mom for not preparing a manual for me. She didn't have hers either. I can do the payback to my kids like some mothers do, or I can teach them and avoid future argument. Plus my kids will think I'm super cool and will not think twice to have me in their home. I need to stop figuring out what I did wrong in the past and start thinking what to do with the ones I have now. I need to spend more times with Imran and Hani because I think I'm starting to miss them already.

But right now, I am savoring the time I have left until they wake up from their afternoon nap.

Happy Mother's Day to all mothers out there!!

6 years and counting...

2010-03-14T00:18:00.003+08:00

Got loads of things to write but somehow no energy to type.. so...

HAPPY 6TH ANNIVERSARY TO ME!!

I am glad that Hubby made the decision 7 years ago.. and now here we are... with two wild kids and a home still waiting to be decorated.. (Byk benor dinding kosong.. Dapat gantung TV jek.. haha)

Happy Birthday Hubs!!

2010-02-17T06:51:00.002+08:00

Happy Birthday to you

This is your day

On this day for you

We´re gonna love you in every way

This is your day, your day

Happy Birthday to you, to you

Happy Birthday to you

You´re still young

Age is just a number

Don´t you stop having fun

This ist your day, your day

Happy Birthday to you, to you

This day only comes once every year

Because you´re so wonderful

With each and every thing you do

Hey

Happy Birtday to you

You´re still youn

Age is just a number

Don´t you stop having fun

This is your day, your day

Happy Birthday to you, to you

This day is only for you

'Cause you´re so special in every way

Happy Birthday to you

Working Mom or SAHM

2010-02-16T17:33:00.006+08:00

Don't get me wrong. I'm not trying to list the pros and cons between the two. I just want to make a note to myself of why I have chosen to work and leave my kids at home with a stranger.

When I finished my degree, it is the obvious you have to find work immediately. Especially when you have plan to pay back your student loan. Not to mention if you delay on the job hunt, the interview session would not be impressive. Since I got engaged right after my final exam, I have no time to think. Just grab the first job offered and make myself ready for anything. Till now, I never regret working with my colleagues. They were the best team ever!! Doesn't matter that I have to work on holidays but they just make it easier for me to go through it.

Then came the baby. Hubby and I decided that I should quit and look for a normal working hour job. So I did. But ends up 3 years unemployed but helping out with his business. Not exactly a SAHM right? I spend 12 hours at the shop with my baby. Lucky me I have a very understanding MIL. She helped out to take care of Imran when I was carrying Hani. One thing about Imran, his tantrums and demands is still under control. Not sure if this has anything to do with being the first-borne on the fact that I have already left him with third party since he was a baby.

Then came Hani. Goodness this girl can really drive me crazy!!! She was not so demanding and I had very good hope that she'll be the good girl as she was a baby. But God knows what happen when she hit her puberty at the age of 1. Aarrgghh...!!! And this was when hubby decided he can no longer continue to pay for my loans as he has already started to pay for our house loan.

So I had to think and think very fast. After 3 years of taking care of the children, I could definitely take the break and get a paying job. But this has to be a very good paying job as I can already sense the stress attack knocking at my door. Don't get me wrong when I say a break. I mean a break from the children is a much needed time for all mothers. I left Imran with MIL around 5-6 hours but she will send him to me at the shop for his booby milk. I'm referring to the break where you can do anything you want or have to without the screaming kids around. And honestly speaking, I kinda like the work stress. Hahah! Though it can lead to a certain temper rupture at home, but I know it is still under control.

Although there's one thing that I noticed. I never gain weight before I started work. Within a year of working I already a few stone. Yes, I'm exaggerating. But I definitely gain weight. And I need to lose it fast. Hold on, now I remember. I use to go on the treadmill on daily basis but now is has become the spot to hang my tudung. So that's the reason. My eating has reduced but no work-out has definitely donated the weight gain. Well, self-discipline not exactly in the top list in my life dictionary.

Imran and Hani has yet to be attached to my maid. Even after one year with her, they still come running to me for everything. So it doesn't really make any different on the losing attention issue. But I really miss the walk-to-the-park session. I used to get Imran on his bike and Hani on the stroller and went to the park nearby our house. And now I'm either too tired or not at home. Weekend is always an outing day. And I find out that the kids is definitely not having a good time. So I would bribe them with books. Both have turned out to be an avid reader though none of them can read yet. Imran has taken interest on learning the words but right he's still memorizing. As for Hani, well, she has already demanding for me to read books. Gosh! if only I'm a SAHM I would have all the time to go to the park and read books to my kids. Then again, I don't think I can afford as many books as I have today.

I wanted to scream....

2010-02-12T10:25:00.002+08:00

It has been a week Hubby's admitted for dengue... Good news, dengue is officially gone on Thursday. But... his fever was not. The diagnose? His right hand was infected. Arrgghh!! One thing after another... I'm pretty sure if it were my kids, I could've handled it better. But somehow this time I can't control my temper. When he broke the news his fever is still there and doctor is keeping him for another day, I had to leave. I was so sure that he'll be discharged today. And now my headache is killing me. I'm just exhausted mentally and physically.

Not to mention all the workload in the office. Ever since Imran went to kindergarten, I have been arriving late to the office. Bear in mind, in my field, you are not allowed to be late. Not even 1 minute. If you have clocked in 8.01 am (shift starts 8 am), you have been marked for late attendance. I am so torn in between. Hubby had asked me to just stick to my usual shift but now I'm in the doghouse for being late. I got another month and a half until the next shift changes. I will definitely asked for a later shift. Until then, I have to come up with alternatives to arrive early.

False alarm...

2010-02-06T14:41:00.003+08:00

on the measles case. I really thought Imran got measles with the tiny red spots all over his body. Turns out it's one of the symptoms for viral fever. Can't blame Mom for panicking though. Hahah!

Anyways, Hubby's fever definitely went for the worst when he's admitted for Dengue. It rang the house alarm to check on any mosquitoes breeding places. No matter how convinced you are that the fever did not start at your home, you just never know. But for now, Hubby somehow convinced he got this during his visits to Nilai. The fact is we do not get mosquito bite at home. Heh!!

Last night I had to leave the kids and my maid with MIL. Spent the night with Hubby at PMC to watch his temperature. I remember when my dad was admitted for the same case, his fever was so high that he kinda lost his sanity for a moment. Talking gibberish and no one could understand what the heck he wants. Thank you MIL for helping out. Even though she has to take care of FIL who is still recovering from his leg operation to remove blood clot.

The very selfish part while handling my family right now is thinking about work. I got a lot in my hand. And I just don't know whether others got the time to help me out with my tasks. I am really worried. I don't even know who is exactly my back up. Hubby kept telling me, sometimes you need something to screw up before you can argue on whatever request you need for your team. I just pray I still got time on Monday to cover up all the losses. If there's any.

Measles came to visit

2010-02-04T23:54:00.002+08:00

Got back from working late in the office. Greeted by a very weak Hubby. His fever is not getting better. Ate dinner, watched Chuck.. doing the usuals.. until...

Went to Imran to take a look at him sleeping soundly on the couch. And something caught my eye. His legs are covered with red spots... Oh God no! Lift up his jammy and walla! He got red spots all over his body. Then only I noticed the red spots has actually covered his face. I know it wasn't there this morning. Must have come out during the day and nobody noticed it.

To make things even more interesting, there's a chance Hubby is having measles too. So tomorrow's first thing to do is a visit to his doctor and Imran's paed at PMC. Gosh! I must be ready for and earful of lecture.

And now, I have to pray Hani's body immune is strong enough to fight the measles attack. Haiiyaaahh!!!

It's February...

2010-02-02T07:18:00.002+08:00

Hubby's birthday coming up and I have no idea what to get him. Perhaps just a nice movie and dinner time would be good enough.

I started this month with Imran missing school. He got quite a high fever yesterday which has subdued last night. But this morning he gave me a fright when his nose was bleeding non-stop. Hubby kept telling me not to panic because it'll make things worse. Sorry Hun, I can't stand the blood actually... Anyway, finally the bleeding stopped but I still need to bring to the doctor. So told my boss I have to take emergency leave. But somehow it's kinda worrying as I still got a lot of work to finish today. Hmm... I'm just glad Hani is not falling sick.

Gosh...

2010-01-29T22:39:00.002+08:00

I was running late, yet again to the office and went to jot down the time when a lady asked me...

Lady : What time your shift starts?

Me : 8 o'clock. Should've been here on time if the traffic was all right. Got one car ran out of gas in the middle of the road.

Lady : What time you went out of the house?

Me : 7. Have to drop my son at kindergarten.

Lady : You have a son?

Me : Yeap. Got two kids. Why?

Lady : You don't look like you have kids. You look young. Too young to have kids.

Me : Sweetheart.. you just made my day... Thank you very much!!!

*smiling all the way to the workstation...*

Sony Ericsson S312 For Sale!

2010-01-25T19:03:00.003+08:00

Just to help out Hubby to sell this one week old phone. Still under warranty. It was a transition phone while getting his new gadget. And it is for sale for RM350. Price is negotiable. Comes with 2GB memory card.

You can browse for more the details at http://www.sonyericsson.com/cws/products/mobilephones/overview/s312?cc=my&lc=en#view=overview

Photo taken from www.sonyericsson.com.

Imran's story

2010-01-25T17:25:00.002+08:00

He has been going to kindy for almost a month. Surprisingly, his wailing came on the second week. He started refusing to go to school. Crying and wailing at school. The teachers actually struggled to carry him inside. They asked me to leave and let them handle him. Trust me when I say these people do know how to handle Imran. Some of the days when Imran just sat on the floor not wanting to budge, one teacher actually said. "Kena biar dulu, tak boleh tegur. Nanti dia okaylah." Basically they do not force kids to stop crying or sulking. Let them be first. Once the rest of gang arrive, they will turn on their play mode. Hahaha....

When I asked why he did not want to go to school, Imran actually said he has no friends, and people are mean to him. I was shocked but it just doesn't sound right. I'm not saying he's lying, but something's missing. Finally Grandma managed to get the right answer. Truth is he doesn't want to go to school because he's still sleepy and wants to continue sleeping. Hahaha... My poor boy! It's never easy to wake up at 6.30 in the morning. Even for adult. But we gotta do what we gotta do sweetheart...

Basikal Oh Basikal

2010-01-23T10:14:00.006+08:00

Hari ni aku nak guna Bahasa Ibunda.. keh keh.. Lain macam jek bunyi nyer kan? Dah laa guna bahasa bualan... Ejaan nyer sori la ye.. Memang kelam kabut.. Tahap kemahiran berbahasa dah turun.. sehingga cukup untuk membuatkan Mak aku malu. Kah kah Kah!!

Anyway, (doh kuar english plak) hari ni aku nak gi carik basikal. Basikal untuk Imran ngan Hani. Ibu dia? Lain kali je laa... Duit aku cukup utk dua basikal budak jek. Yg aku punya nanti aku cuba mintak Hubby sponsor.. Poyo jek..

Pagi tadi beria laa aku bangun awal nak gi opis.. Siap member dah sms bgtau ape aku kena buat arini.. Drive dgn perut kosong. (Air pun x sempat minum) Semangat nak siapkan keje. Tapi tak dpt korg bayangkan betapa hampa nyer aku.. OPIS ku TUTUP!!! Haishh.. takde pulak org nak OT arini.. mmg malang nasib aku. Takpe, aku boleh balik umah dulu.. sesambil carik basikal, aku ajak laa satu family singgah opis.. hahaha.... kemaruk keje betul laa aku nih

Well, harap2 ade laa bukak opis tuh nanti. Sesapa yg pegang kunci opis.. Tlg laa aku arini... Senin nyer repot blum siap lagi!!!!

Oh Crap!!

2010-01-23T00:14:00.004+08:00

I am beginning to think my career is going down south. I am barely adapting to the new job and right now it is not looking good. Not when I have to be home ASAP. No staying late. Which doesn't really agree with my work. The distraction is more than any of my teammate could handle. Though finally we found one of the root problem.

Anyway, I left office with lots of pending work. Still deciding whether I should spend few hours early morning. Which I think I should. Just a couple of hours. Should be enough. Heh! The problem is I have to be home by noon. Promised Imran we'll be getting him a bicycle. I've been waiting and saving for this. Thought of giving it on his birthday but Hubby said it's still a long way to go. So I'll get him the bikes and we'll figure what Hubby will get for their birthday. I just hope we don't have to blow the roof to have a birthday party.. hahahah! And yes, I'm getting one for Hani too.

Adding to the hectic schedule, we got an Aqiqah invitation from Hubby's boss at 4 o'clock. So back to Klang after the bike hunt then drive all the way to Bukit Jelutong for his 6-year old niece. (And we still need to get present!). So I am having a hard time to decide.

If I don't clear up the work, Monday will be hell. With hundreds of phone calls coming, I don't think we even have time to breathe. Dear God! What have I got myself into? Did I overestimate my potential to perform? Hmm....

Mental exhaustion

2010-01-19T22:44:00.004+08:00

Working in a customer service field requires you to be a good listener and be able to response positively towards a complaint. Sadly, that is not the usual practice when it comes to a certain point where no one wants to back down from an argument. So one party will ended up being the silent listener while making sure the other party know you're listening. Even though they know you're not.

Not sure whether I broke a mirror or walked under a ladder. I sure did not see any black cats today. But somehow bad luck kept on raining on me. One after another I received complaints on how irresponsible the company I work for. Let me get one thing straight, we do our best with everything we have. Somehow it's never enough. People always wants more. Naturally.

The phrase "Customer's always right" couldn't be more wrong. Everyday they will try to play that card on me. Well, let's pray hard tomorrow will be better...

Rejection and Tantrum

2010-01-10T15:14:00.004+08:00

How do you deal with a very moody 2 and half year old girl who just recovered from a nasty fever? Plus she's still having runny nose and cough a little. You won't have a clue to why she's screaming on top of her lungs because she expects her mom to read her precious little mind to figure it out. So what do you do? Keep pointing and saying anything you could think of, until she gives the nod.

Hubby and I decided to start training Hani to bond with Halimah. Unfortunately the plans goes down the drain even before it started. First I was suppose to have alone time in Jusco Bukit Tinggi with my office gals. But Hubby had got the cold and had to take cold medicine which left him drowsy. He was supposed to go for a meet-up with the new tenant at Nilai. So I had to drive him and get that settled. Then came the idea of us watching Holmes. Since it would be easy for us to just get up and leave if Halimah couldn't cope. But that also went down south as Hubby is still recovering from his cold. And I am all out of ideas.

I can understand why MIL is exhausted at the end of the handling my kids. Especially Hani. She's the aggressive one. One time I told my maid to just take Hani and ignore her scream. She pooped and wouldn't let anyone but me to clean her up. My guess is that she throws the same tantrum to Grandma. Worse part, it doesn't stop with the scream. She started beating up my maid. I was standing right outside the toilet door. I had to give in to her demand. Just couldn't stand hearing her screaming and beating everyone just cause Mommy doesn't want to clean her poop.

Lately my work has been demanding me to stay a little while after office hour. I would reach home around 8 pm. That is considered late, given the fact I finish work at 5. Even Hubby is worried about next week. We're still not confident to leave Hani with Halimah. Not sure if she can handle her alone. But right now, I'm going to leave to Hubby to decide and talk with MIL. Because I'm at lost with words right now.

Thank God Imran will be at kindy from 7.30 to 12 noon!

Just when I thought

2010-01-08T23:46:00.002+08:00

I can start to manage my life a little bit organized, I was dropped with another issue. MIL decided it's time to retire. She's no longer capable of handling my kids. My two extra-ordinary, adrenalin driven kids. Hahaha... It was never a long term plan to leave the maid with MIL. But somehow it has stretched to almost a year. And lately I have been coming home late. Another point for her to tender her resignation. Not sure of when to finalized the last day. Huhuh....

Anyway, the things she's saying about how my maid is handling Imran and Hani is a bit worrying me. Seems that she has tried to adapt my method on them. Some of the things I do is not acceptable to MIL. I tend to pat on the hand or legs if I got angry. Which is obviously a no-no for her to do. I can't have a stranger beat up my kids. I think me putting my hands on them is enough. Besides, she's going to spend more hours with them on weekdays. And I can't have them to be terrified of her. They can be scared of me. I'm their mother. Well, we'll just have to have a small talk. After I discussed with Hubby on the do's and don'ts.

Office drama has never been a good show to me. And today I witness it right in front of my eyes. Guess some people just couldn't handle bad news....

Imran goes to kindy + Hani's first to PMC for 2010

2010-01-06T15:59:00.003+08:00

Woke up. Checked on Imran. No fever, good! Need to get ready for kindy...

Lucky me, Imran ate Koko Krunch with 'Susu Putih'. No need to pack food. Better yet, he did not make any fuss at all. Anyway, got everything ready and we're good to go. Parked my car at MIL's house and walked to kindy. Meeting up with the teacher who took Imran. Best part, he just went off without even saying goodbye. I was left there oblivious to what just happened. Well, that's good right? Saw few mothers trying to sooth their crying daughters. Hopefully it doesn't get to Imran. Heh!

Anyway, left kindy and went back home to get Hani ready for her first doctor visit of the year. Her fever is not getting better after 5 days. We're gonna a mouthful from Dr Kannu for sure today. Did a blood test for viral/bacteria infection as well as platelet count. Just for precaution. Another good news! Hani is alright. Just need to keep taking PCM and cold as well as cough medication. She should be okay in 2-3 days. I can breathe again...

Next mission! How in the world do get my kids to eat properly???

2 0 1 0

2010-01-05T23:19:00.003+08:00

Happy Belated New Year!

After turning the big 3-0 last month, celebrating new year was the last thing in my mind. Plus, Hani was not feeling very well. She has been down with cold for more than one week now. But we did have fun watching Alvin and the Chipmunks II at One Utama. Thanks to Aunty Shariza and Uncle Zen. Not forgetting charming Faeq and sweet Nayla. Gosh Nayla is so sweet... Sometimes I wish Hani can be a sweet little girl. Alas, I got the brutal lass. Well, guess that runs in the family.

Anyway, I've been spending the first few days of 2010 by monitoring Hani's fever. We almost missed out on Imran's kindergarten orientation. And none of us took photos. I must get myself a compact camera. Despite the article in Yahoo! saying compact camera is slowly going to extinction. Besides, I'm not those people who like to carry bulky SLR camera everywhere I go. Won't even be interested in knowing how to work one anyway. Hiks!

Right now I an trying to decide whether Imran should attend kindy tomorrow. Seems like he caught Hani's cold. Plus both of them now got a wee bit body temperature. Apart from losing the appetite, they both seems to be quite content. Imran did ask for doughnuts though. he only eats the topping. But I really don't mind anymore. As long they eat something before I gave them their medication. Believe it or not, they can wait patiently for their syrup. The funny taste doesn't really bother them.

I should be in bed, but watching Tom and Jerry show is more fascinating. I should tell my kids "Time to sleep!", but I'd rather sit in the living room and let them watch Cartoon Networks. I should..... sigh!

TIME FOR BED!!!

One down...

2009-12-05T18:51:00.005+08:00

We finally got Imran registered for kindergarten. It's a walking distance from MIL's place. About 3 gates away. Heh! I did some scouting around for others. Smart Reader, Q-Dee's, Montessori, and the list goes on.. but somehow the most important thing to consider is transportation. Hubby is not exactly comfortable with buses. So, might as well we get the one closed to her mom's place.
We met a very nice lady (think she's the kindy' owner) who gave quite a bit of a lecture for sending Imran at year 5. And telling stories where she had to remind parents to register for school early. Haiyak! I finally got Hubby to register Imran for kindy and now got to figure out school? Next year's mission is ON!
Most of the program is the same as other kindy, but the part where she said they teach reading on one-to-one is what attracts me. Imran is turning 5 next year, but has not been able to write his own name. He recognizes alphabets and numbers but that's about it. I'm at lost when it comes to reading. I don't know how to teach. So better get someone to help out on that. Hehehe...
Anyway, they provide swimming class too! Optional of course, with additional monthly fee. With fee 1/2(I think) of Q-dees, I don't mind paying fot extra classes. If Imran wants it.

It's been a while

2009-11-28T10:31:00.002+08:00

Dang! It's almost end of 2009 and I've been dormant long enough. Believe it or not, I'm still adapting to the working life. Hahaha!! I can barely keep myself awake after 9.30. Watching the 10 o'clock shows on AXN has never been so hard. If only I have Tivo... then I can just watch the show on weekends.
I'm celebrating Aidiladha in Perlis thie year. Sister is tagging along. My parents in Mekah for Haji. Brother got his sponsored to celebrate in Bandung. That's right. He got sponsored to spend 3-day vacation in Bandung.The perks of having a wealthy girlfriend who doesn't mind spending time and money for him. Well, terms and condition applies of course.
Yikes! Gotta run...Today's itinerary... Padang Besar!

From IJN with love....

2009-04-28T14:22:00.004+08:00

NOT!!!
That's right. I'm writing posting this from Dad's room in IJN. He was scheduled for bypass operation today at noon. Due to unforeseen circumstances, it has to be rescheduled to another date. Just a slight delay of maybe a day or two. Depending on the surgeon's time table. I just wish we could get this thing over with, and move on to the recovery session.
I have taken the week off for this. Oh wait, I have to go back to work for second half of the day on Thursday. Nevermind. No biggie. But when your Mom has to go back to work to attend some royal visit, it really pisses me off how some human can be so inconsiderate to other people misery. We're talking about my Dad going for his triple-bypass and my mom has to attend to a full dressed rehearsal and ceremony because the Sultan is coming for a visit. I have nothing against the royal family because they don't really know the A to Z of what;s going on with the preparation to welcome them. It's those kiss-ass people who really irks me to the max! Come on people! Get a grip. This is someone's husband, dad and loved ones we're talking about. I bet if it's your mom, you wouldn't even blink to take leave just to be with her. Then again, talking about these kind of species.... you never know what they capable of. So, I'm just going to let it go. FOR NOW!!!
Right now I'm wondering on how to get here before 6 tomorrow morning. Arrrggghhhh!!!!!

A month has passed

2009-04-22T21:13:00.002+08:00

Well, almost. Excuse? Busy, busy, busy...
I've started to enjoy my work place... FINALLY! Though I do feel kinda old since they call me 'Akak'. Heheh... Being a Malay makes it hard for them to just call me by name. It sucks big time! I wish they would just call me by name. Like some of them.
I'm still trying to break the language barrier. Being in Shipping Liner company makes it hard for me to even understand what the customer is saying. Not to mention they have their own code of certain thing that I know nothing about. Which makes it very frustrating. Especially when some customer just doesn't get it when I said 'no' to their request. For today I got one customer asked me to refer to senior staff for her request. I was so angry that I almost told her off by saying 'Who did you think I was talking to? A rock?!!!' The phone was mute, but my supervisor had a blast and laughed out loud!
Did I mention few months back I went to the dentist to get my wisdom tooth checked? Too lazy to browse the archive. Heh! Anyway, got x-ray proof that my wisdom tooth on the left lower gum is not coming out properly and most probably has to be removed surgically. He didn't insist on it so I just shrug it off. Boy, I did not expect the outcome for today's visit. The pain came back and I went for a quick visit hoping for pain killers. This time it was different dentist and he insist that either I go for surgery or live with the pain until I decide enough is enough. Not only the price will burn a huge whole in my ever so small purse, the procedure itself is going to put me through hell! For someone who went through 2 c-sections, I'm not too keen on having another surgery. I hate making decision for something that scared the heck of my wits!
To make matters worse, my dad is scheduled for admittance in IJN tomorrow. Going for angiogram on Friday and doctor has pre-booked for bypass the next Tuesday!

I used to...

2009-03-23T23:29:00.002+08:00

be able to sleep late and wake up early without worrying what time i will some rest during the day. But now, I have to make sure I have enough sleep just to make sure I don't fall asleep while driving to work in the morning. Yes, I tend to be very sleepy while driving. Coffee sound so good but if I were to have coffee before I go to work, I have to make time for toilet break. Hahahaa...
Anyway, what can I share about my workplace? Other than the fact I drag myself to work on a daily basis. That's right. I hate my workplace. I don't hate the job. Somehow the place and the environment doesn't really motivates me to work harder than I should. Guess I need to figure out a way for me to inspire myself. Of course some some cute guys would definitely help to boost that. Hehehe... Guess, when you are so used to work in a team who will give you 101% of support, it's not easy to see a very divided team mates who has their own share of work. Too add salt to the wound, our so called boss is not exactly a very inspiring person. I thought someone with experience would be mature enough to realized threat does not give you the result you want. Sending news on salary cut and unemployment statistics doesn't help in boosting your team to work harder. It just gives you the opposite. I just can't believe how shallow some people can be nowadays.
Yikes! It's midnight. I have to iron my clothes and get myself ready to go to bed. Need to wake early tomorrow. No, I'm not going to work early because I want to. But I have to sneak out of the house before Hani gets up. The things you do just so your kids start their day in a better mood than yours.

Batte of the fittest

2009-03-14T00:39:00.003+08:00

I'm battling with myself actually. Trying hard to get use as a working mother of two very unpredictable kiddos. I know it's going to be hard. But not to the extend I lost all my sixth sense to my overwhelming exhaustion upon arriving home from the office.
Today we decided to go to TESCO hypermarket to buy groceries and things for Halimah. Since Hubby went home earlier, he went to MIL's place to pick them up. And I went straight home and took a shower. Asked whether she wanted to tag along and waited for her to get ready. Once we got to the car, I realized I didn't pack any diapers nor supplies for Imran and Hani. Since it should be a quick one, I just shrug it of and went on. BIG MISTAKE!!!!
Arrived TESCO, the moment I stepped onto the escalator, Hani screamed. I was stunned. We tried to calm her down when all of a sudden Hubby thought of checking her diaper. True enough she pooped. To make matters worse, it has been there for quite some time that she screamed because her bottom was stinging her. I wanted to scream at someone. But who else should I get angry other than myself. I should've been able to detect the smell. I always did. It broke my heart to hear her cry when I wash cleaning her in the washroom. I had to carry her throughout the shopping ordeal because she was in pain. Of course the fact that she's not wearing diapers just scared Hubby. Hahaha...
I can't believe how I can be so ignorant towards my kids nowadays. I do kiss them every morning before I leave. And do hug them when I see them after work. But the fact that I did not detect anything was wrong with them is definitely alarming. I really need to get myself on track my Imran and Hani. Especially Hani. It seems that she's rejecting the idea of having a maid in the house. She felt abandoned at some point. I just hope this phase will go away and eventually realize that I'm not leaving her with a stranger. Just a new addition to the family.
As for Imran, he's having a time of his life. Another person to bully and turn to when Hubby wants to 'cubit' him for misbehaving.

So here it goes...

2009-03-12T00:07:00.002+08:00

I have an Indonesian maid. She's from Jawa Timur. A 35-year old lady with 5 kids. Age range from 16 to 2 years old. She has been here for a year plus. Don't really know what happened to her previous employer though. MIL said it was something about she had been treated badly by the wife. Nobody can clarify that anyway. So just have to take her words for it.
Anyway, yesterday her probation starts. As of now, we're sending her together with the kids to MIL. MIL will be screening her for us. Since the main reason to get a maid was for someone to take care of the kids. I'm not too keen on the idea of leaving the kids alone with her. Especially we found out Hani is kinda scared of her. I wonder if somehow Hani feels that she's being abandoned by me and MIL when she saw the maid. You can never tell with kids. Somehow they have such an incredible sense that we would never figure out. I just hope this will be a temporary phase. MIL has been having trouble keeping both Imran and Hani in control. They have already started to bully each other. It won't be long when they'll gang up to bully the others.
As for the maid, she's okay. It's still too early to tell. I really hope I don't have to send anyone back but the decision is not mine to call. It's up to my kids. If either one of them doesn't feel comfortable with her, I might want to try out playschool for Imran. Where the heck can I found one within walking distance from MIL's place?
Oh by the way, our maid's name is Halimah. She calls me, IBU and Hubby, BAPAK. I'm wondering how confused will my kids be when they hear BIBIK calling me with the same call name as theirs. Hmm... should I change to Mom instead? Hahaha!

Just watch your back Sweetie

2009-02-18T11:27:00.003+08:00

I'm posting this post from Ipoh. That's right. I had to take EL even though I have yet to get my entitlement for annual leave. For one reason and one reason only. Family comes first. It begins with such a beautiful start in the morning....

Hubby turns 3-0 yesterday and we had planned to have family dinner. Since I'll be attending orientation and training I can get off work early. But one phone call from my mom changed everything! My dad was warded to CH hospital. For your information my dad has been in and out hospitals for his heart condition. Nothing serious. Just a mild heart attack and few days of bed rest and medication. So neither mom nor my sister who was with him expected anything worse could happen.

Now, my mom is in KL for a convention. And she is still waiting for her relocation to CH. So she is still in Jengka whilst my sister is accompanying my dad in CH. Since we did not expect anything serious, my mom decided to visit him on the weekends. Unfortunately, sister informed me, CH had decided to send dad to GH in Ipoh because his condition just got worse.

At this point, my mom was already having a panic attack. This is her other half we're talking about. Dad went to the CH hospital for a his cough but ended up with severe heart attack. What the he**???!!!! He was only having the usual mild attack and ended up in an ambulance to see a specialist!! To make things worse, my sister was unable to get hold of my mom and she got yelled for not informing mom immediately.

I called my supervisor and informed her that I'll heading to Ipoh and won't be coming to work. Bless her angel soul! Picked up my brother so he'll take mom's car from the hotel. Got my mom and went straight to Ipoh. Arrived in the middle of the night. Dad was sound asleep. Got ourselves checked-in into a nearby hotel and rest for the night.

And today my mom got the whole story from yesterday. The truth was the nurses and doctors in CH has given my dad not only the wrong medication, but an overdose as well!!!! He had rashes all over his body. Body temperature went down and he was shivering. Thank God for their immediate decision to send to a specialist even though with being such an idiot for not listening to my dad in the first place! Ipoh's doctor immediately recognise his condition as allergic reaction instead of the severe heart attack as written on his report. My mom is planning to sue the hospital for malpractice! But she got mellowed. Instead she just wanted to give them a piece of her mind. As of now, Ipoh's doctor is planning to inform IJN to schedule for dad's triple bypass soon.

Thank you for everyone who has helped my family when needed! As for those people who are resposible for sending my dad off for a lousy trip down the hill, watch your back, Sweeties!! Because mom is coming to town!!

Let's pray....

2009-02-09T00:21:00.004+08:00

I have never said that being a working mom is easy. Neither is a stay at home mom. Both had their own bittersweet experience that only a mother can feel. And just like a fingerprint, no mother could ever have exact same feeling towards their own experience.
After 3 weeks of working, it is still too early for me to experience the exhaustion of coming home to continue with house chores. Yes, I still cook dinner. With good planning, I don't have to wait to defrost my poultry. Hubby took care of the dirty laundry while I'll be the one enjoying my favourite show on TV folding them. Somehow we take our own share of cleaning up the house. Which doesn't really happened that often. But I'm glad that everything is going pretty well for now. Though I'm having a hard time dealing with the fact that I left my kids to my in-laws. They're not exactly the right person you'd want to leave a very vocal kid who would just scream if he wants something. Yes, I'm that bad of a mother. I don't let them scream at my house but somehow manage to let them off at my in-laws. Well.... Seems Hubby had the same problem too with them.
Enough about that...Let's get really serious now...
Last Saturday, we were shopping for some shrubs to start of my so-called garden, when we got a call from MIL informing us that Hubby's aunt was in the hospital with head injury. She was a victim of snatch theft! We decided to drop by the hospital since we were already on the road. Here I was thinking it was an injury caused by a fall. Boy I could not be more wrong!!! The truth was she was ambushed (MIL used that term) and got hit in the head with something very hard that I believe gave a mild concussion. By the we saw her head was covered and I could see dried blood on the sheet below her head. This happened in PJ. In public!! Well, most of these incidents do happen in broad daylight with people around. Somehow I felt ridiculous at how these scumbags can actually get away with their evil way of getting what the want. Trust me when I say they are not after your cash. It's something more important. Your identity! You think identity theft only happens in foreign country? Think again!!!
As for the person responsible for what happen to this very sweet lady. I curse you!!! You hear me??!! What goes around will come around. And I pray that you get the most just punishment for your evil scheme to survive. People live not to bring misery to this world, but somehow human does not comply with just being happy. Some idiots get their adrenalin rush by causing pain to people. And it is not my responsibility to rationale these behavior. To me... you are at the scumbags who will rot in hell or better yet, get killed in the act. Either way, it doesn't end well for you!
So now.. I pray.....

It's past midnight...

2009-02-03T00:30:00.003+08:00

and I am still awake.. I'm sleepy but awake..
Living in a neighborhood where you are the minority certainly has paid it's toll on us. Ever since New year we have been bombarded with fireworks war. That house trying to outdo this house is no longer an expression. It a way of life. They are trying very hard to outdo each others flashy and loud fire crackers that none of them even gave a slightest thought of people with babies and children who get scared easily by extra loud exploding sound. Alhamdulillah my kids managed to sleep soundly even when the fireworks are lit just right in front of our house. I'm not talking about those firecrackers we played during Ramadhan and Eidufiltri. I'm talking about gigantic fireworks.
I thought fireworks and firecrackers has been illegal for years. So how did these people got hold of the license or permission to blow up these fancy bombs? I just want my peaceful night back!!! I have to get up early and brace through idiots on wheels!!!!!

1, 2, 3 4, 5

2009-01-27T14:09:00.003+08:00

Once I caught a fish alive...

Imran has been singing lots of kids as well as adult songs. But it took me quite a while to figure out which song he's trying to sing. Especially when he was enjoying himself singing 'So What by Pink'. I could opnly make out the 'So, so what.. blablabl... rockstar' As for Hani she tries very hard to say the words, but could only come up with.. 'oohh.. oohh..' Good enough for me.
Last weekend we spent 2 nights at A Famosa Resorts in Melaka. Overall the security was good but the service? Bad!! Hubby's aunt wanted to have late lunch at their clubhouse cafe and ended up waited half an hour for nothing! No apology or anything that resembles their regret but somehow came up with an arrogant excuse of they only have one kitchen to serve 2 restaurants and they have members to serve. Well, they were in for a shock because Hubby's aunty just gave them one look and said ' That's not my problem! I ordered 1 Mee Curry and 2 plates of fired rice. And you came with 1 mee curry and 1 fried rice. If you can't handle that simple order then maybe you should re consider the tasks. Just because we're not one for your club members doesn't mean we're not paying customers!' That's not her exat words.. but how I wish it is. She did bambooed them for the bad service.
Durign the stay we decided to go for the Safari World, but had it cancelled due to drizzling rain. However we ended up in the 4-feet deep swimming pool in the rain! Hahah.. Oh, I forgot to mention we stayed in one of the villas which provided a not-so private pool. Imagine how happy the kids were when they saw the pool right beside the car porch. Imran's cousin was cheeky enough to wonder why can't they spent swimming in the pool until night time? Surrounded with 6 kids below 6 was priceless...
Sad to say even the cowboy world trip had to be canceled. It didn't matter though. They already planned to get up early to have the first dip in the pool. Ad this time Imran has finally found the courage to get into the pool. He got himself those round floaties and started to paddle all around the pool Guess he was phobic of not being able to keep his face out of the water with his arm-floaties.
I'll see if I can post some photos of the trip. Right now I have to wake Hubby up becasue we have to go out for grocery shopping. I hope I can persuade him to do some window shopping but he got his sinus problem again. So not so sure whether he would be in his usual grumpy mood or the good side. Hahaha.. Either way, after the long and enlightening chat with a someone, I have come to conclusion to stop being jelous of others happiness. Just be happy with what I already and about to have. Amin.....

After the grueling days at work..

2009-01-20T23:04:00.002+08:00

I finally found my way to my ever so loyal PC. Hahaha... It wasn't that grueling at all actually. I sat there staring at my two monitored PC doing training module one after another. And watching my new-found colleagues answering phone calls and ever so expertly looking for information on the monitor while making sure the previous task which was interrupted by the call is not lost. With all the datas that needed to be entered and validate, phone cals to answer, queries to handle, there was one things that hit me. The place is somehow silent. After few hours I realized, the keyboard was not making so much noise. I remember back in my data centre day, we had complaint about the loud sound we're making just by hitting the keyboard. Gosh.. I really missed them.
To make matters worse, I realized that I did not miss my kids. Does that make me a bad mother? I don't believe so. Apart from I don't call to ask whether they're alright with MIL, I don't even talk about them. Well, the part where I don't talk about them would probably because I'm the only one with 2 kids. There's another lady with 1-year-old son but we haven't had time to chit-chat yet. The rest of the team? One word. YOUNG! Hehehe.. Imran has gotten used of me going to work. But it'll take Hani some time and loads of distraction to keep her occupied enough just to stop looking for me. She's getting along just fine with Hubby.
What can I say about Hubby, he's my guardian angel. These 2 days has shown me how dedicated he can be to support me. He has successfully managed to shower both kids before sending them off to MIL. Went to work and came back home and starts to prepapre for dinner! I have definitely underestimated him! He even help out to do laundry. Not that he never did before. But I know how exhausted he is when he came back from work, but somehow he also understood that it would take me some time to adapt myself to the routine.
If only I can get my pay earlier... Sad to say I won't be getting my salary until end of February. So I guess I have to get a belated birthday present for him. Hahaha.... Or an early anniversary celebration? Hmm..

Last weekend...

2009-01-17T01:39:00.002+08:00

as a stay-at-home mother will be spent in Jengka with my mom. Dad is stuck in CH because his chauffeur, my ever-busy sis had to work on Saturday. Besides I still have last minutes shopping to do. Wait, did I say shopping? It's more of grabbing whatever I can have from my mom's collections. Hehehe.. I've already got loads of office attire. But still yet to accessorize. Handbags and shoes are on top of the list. And where else can I get them other than my mom. Don't be surprised, she can actually have some very interesting collection of handbags and shoes. For a close-to-retirement-age lady. Huhu... Sorry mom!
Apart from that, I'm still wondering about make-up. Face powder and lipstick. I really need a good compact powder because I tend to shine by noon. Hahah.. As for liptsick, well.. to give colors to my face? Hehe... As for eyeliner, blusher or whatever other people use, I suck at it. Seriously. Eyeliner.. poked my eyes. Blusher... what cheekbone? The rest..? Come on. Give it up already. Just how much product can you put on your face. Okay, I'll take that back. I can still remember how heavy my make-up was on my wedding day. Gave my mom a shock because that lady destroyed my eyebrows! Hahaha...

Killing time....

2009-01-15T17:12:00.002+08:00

while waiting to pick up the kids...
Today is the fourth day MIL has been taking care of Imran and Hani. Let me summarize the event...

Day 1 - Send around 10 o'clock. Imran was alright.. Hani was looking for me all over the house. Toilets, rooms, kitchen, including under the stairs.. Picked them up around 2.30 because Hubby has to go to work.

Day 2 - Send around 9.30. I left and stayed at home. Around 4.20 pm MIL called saying Imran is crying and screaming he wants to "B.A.L.I.K". Arrived at MIL's to find he's sleeping soundly in her Sorento and Hani was messing with all the buttons and dials on the dashboard. She was a excited to see for like 5 seconds then went back to her gadgets.

Day 3 - We went to Puching to donate things for an orphanage. MIL wanted to borror Hilux cause she has promised to give bags of rice to them. So, no issue from both kids. And we bought tricycle for Hani which made her cry all the way back home.

Day 4 - I set up Imran's V.smile game console and left both Imran's bike and Hani's trcycle at MIL. So far no emergency call. I'm waiting until 6 to go pick them up.

Tomorrow will be another day of training. Next I'll start work and hopefull I can come back on time. I have been warned about the flexible hours. But until I can get a reliable maid to help, I would really want to get home by 7 pm.

Does that sound like a wishful thinking? I really hope not.

The value of money

2009-01-15T16:30:00.005+08:00

Hubby and I went scouting for maid agencies today. We were shocked to learn that the initial cost has gone up to RM8k. And the monthly pay has increased to RM550 a month. Some even charge more for younger maids. If it's not for Hubby's tie-breaker, I would have opt for nurseries.
I can't believe the cost of hiring a maid has gone up so much within 4 years. I read in random forums that people used to pay RM350 a month and the initial cost of booking and processing documents was around RM 4k. That was few years back. With fuel price fluctuating, cost of living has definitely gone up higher than average. Maybe there will come a point where people can't afford to have savings due to a lot have been spent on daily needs. Food, clothing, basic needs which require an average of 80% of your monthly pay.
I worry about the future. Sounds a little cliche? Of course. I'm already preparing my kids for the future. I want them to be able to enjoy themselves without the financial burden. But how can I guarantee the financial freedom when all that we see is financial debt increased within seconds. I'm not a financial expert. Obviously! Hehe.. But I do know the difference between the 'want' and the 'need'. I want that so-called slimming program but what I need is to spend 30 minutes on the treadmill. FYI, Hubby bought a treadmill and it has been unused for few months now. I used to run 30 minutes a day. And Hubby saw the change. But somehow I got tired of the regime and quit! Hahahaha... But that's another story.

Cause we are
Living in a material world
And I am a material girl
You know that we are living in a material world
And I am a material girl
- Madonna's Material Girl lyrics...

Can anyone please

2009-01-13T01:19:00.003+08:00

share with me the experience on the process of getting a maid? Or perhaps recommend agencies for it?
We have decided to go for foreign maid but since neither of our parents nor us have had long term experience with hiring full-time live-in maid, we have to get help. Hehehe..

If you can't stand it, change your diet!

2009-01-13T00:33:00.004+08:00

Wonder what I would have reacted if I was being exiled to Mongolia? All work and no play? children start helping out as soon as they can understand orders? Make me feel so blessed living in this country. Though one say the grass is greener on the other side. I am quite content with the grass right here. Hahaha...
I have seen a couple of shows where families being sent to Africa, Mongolia and yes there was one family sent to spent 9 days if I'm not mistaken with an family the deep forest of Sarawak. Apart from the culture shock that they faced, one thing that really struck me big time. The animal slaughter. What on earth were they thinking every time they took a humongous bite of those greasy hamburgers?? A humanely killed pigs? Hahaha... Would you eat meat with poison in it? Of course not. You'll ended being humanely euthanize yourself. I guess electric shock could do the trick but that would be way too costly.
I guess being brought up in a not so small urban area is not too bad. I've seen cows, goats, chickens and not forgetting rabbits being slaughtered for their meat. And yes I've eaten most meat except for buffaloes. At least I think I've never eaten it. I can understand when vegetarians and PETA protesting these animal abused because they really believed that animals should have their rights to live because they are living beings. What I seems to have problem is with those people who eat their medium raw steak cooked by a well-known chef and claimed that killing animals are cruel and should not be tolerated. Now these hypocrites should be taught some lessons regarding the circle of life. Huhu..

There goes my shopping spree...

2009-01-10T00:19:00.002+08:00

Hahaha... NOT!
I have yet to even start my job when another dilemma decided to drop by. It is something both of us have actually put into consideration. But never expected it to visit this soon. MIL requested for us to apply for a maid. We have been discussing the matter of her taking the kids and definitely have put some consideration that she would not be able to handle them with her current condition. Don't get me wrong, she's an angel. She truly is. But for someone with a soft heart to take care of my ever hyper kids would definitely drive to her physical limits. Especially since Imran have started the tendency to bully her baby sister. Of course Hani can defend herself. But both of them would start to wail like no ones business and that would definitely drive everyone crazy!
So, I am already contemplating on how to save money in order to be able to pay for a maid. The initial plan to get a job was to pay my student loan. Which unfortunately have accumulated quite a sum of arrears. Then comes the expenses of commuting to work. Tolls, gas, food etc. Then the car we're about to buy for me. Just some cheapo car will do. But still, the monthly payment? I would like to be able to pay for it. Can't just blindly depend on Hubby. He's already paying for the house, Hilux, insurance, not to mention my make-ups. Hahaha.. seriously. I really do want to help.
We're not a big fan of spending our money for luxury things. We don't shop at boutiques, we don't eat at Tony Roma's because we chose not too. We chose to prepare ourselves with a better future. (I know.. I know.. yada yada.. just bare with me okay? This is MY blog..) Am I wrong for not sending Imran to a well-establish kindergarten just because I feel there's not need for it? He can still learn to read and write at other kindergartens. Hubby and I graduated from Tabika Kemas. And proud of it. As for Hani, I'll let her decide on what she wants when she can.
As for the maid issue, we have deliberate (hah!) and decided to go for it. MIL's trying to get one locally but I'm pretty sure none is available. Most probably we have to settle for foreign aid. I'm not too keen on having a live-in maid but MIL wasn't too keen on nurseries. Hehehe.. Hubby became the tie-breaker and decided on maid. Good for him! I just pray it wouldn't take too long for us to get the right one.

Tips for Stay at Home Moms Going Back to Work - Leslie Godwin, MFCC

2009-01-09T00:41:00.005+08:00

From this site.

1. The first thing to do is to be very clear about why you are going to work, what you need to earn, and what schedule will work for you.
I'll be working Monday to Friday, 8.30 am to 5.30 pm. Seems perfect to me.

2. Don't feel that the company who offers you a position is doing you a favor just because you have been out of the workforce a while.
Definitely not. I know I have actually impressed them with my experience and the way I handled the interview even though I was out of the corporate world more then 3 years. (So perasan!)

3. Most moms returning to the work force worry about the gap in their resume.
I actually did worry. How am I suppose to 'sell' myself when all I have been doing is taking care of my children. Then when the interview came, I just realized I was doing management work as well as admin when I was handling the laundry shop. Hahaha!

4. Talk to your spouse and find out what his concerns are.
He requested that I get a job. The main concern? My student loan! Hahaha.. Dang!

5. Talk to your kids.
This one is quite a dilemma. How do you explain to a 3-year-old and 1-year-old that mommy will be leaving them with grandma for maybe up to 10 hours (includes commuting). Not so easy. Especially when the little is still BF.

6. Help is available.
Help is all around us. Thank you for my ever-so helpful MIL. She has been an angel to me and my family. If she can't handle my ever so active kids, there's always nurseries and kindergartens.. Last option, a maid.

7. Practice interviewing with a friend.
Hahaha.. never got the chance to do this. Wish I had.

8. If working outside the home doesn't work, be willing to change jobs, look for work you can do at home, or return to being a homemaker full time.
I pray that I don't have to face this.

Suze Orman's 2009 action plan

2009-01-08T15:38:00.003+08:00

I got this from watching Oprah's Best Life show on Hallmark. I got hooked with Suze Orman when my MIL introduced me to her show on CNBC. Just love how she kept saying "NO!!" to ladies who spend too much on luxuries when they're not suppose to. Hihihi...

1. Do not spend any money for one day.
2. Do not use credit card for one week.
3. Do not eat in a restaurant for one month.

One lady could not agree to the third plan. I couldn't agree more with her. Why..? I can get very sick of my own cooking! Hahahaha....
I can stop myself from spending any money for one day. Haha.. Just wait till I get hold of my own money. Wonder what damage I will do. I definitely can live without using credit card for more than one week. Plastic money only for emergency cases. Remember when Hani was admitted to PMC Klang for 3 nights? Had to borrow MIL card because mine had exceed the limit. Hubby was in London. Definitely need a higher credit limit for those emergency expenses. Don't be mistaken, she does have insurance, but had to pay and claim later.
But the part of no eating outside for one month.. I really wanted to give that a try. Especially once I started working. Wanted to see if I can discipline myself to bring food from home. There are loads of one-dish recipes out there. Just need the time, discipline and obviously the gadgets to do so. Haha.. another excuse for shopping? There goes my financial plans!

After the long wait...

2009-01-08T10:33:00.004+08:00

As some might have guessed, I went for a second interview last Tuesday. And today I got a call from them asking me to collect my offer letter tomorrow and get myself a medical check-up. Obviously when I said I can start immediately it is acceptable that they wanted me to start next Monday. But given the thought of how am I suppose to leave my kids without some warning would give me terrible guilt feeling. I requested for one week delay.
So I'm head over heels about getting this job. Since I have yet to get back my pre-married size, I have to settle with the traditional Baju Kurung. Courtesy of my mom. I can do a monthly rotational with the ones she gave me. Not including the one I bought for raya. Hahaha...
I pray that my kids would be alright. And I have to start a new cycle for Hani. What was it, reverse cycling watchamacallit?
Gotta go.. Hani and Imran are having fun in the shower.. Geez, wonder how am I suppose to survive the hours without them screaming....

Mission 1/2 Accomplished...

2009-01-06T15:44:00.002+08:00

hahaha... funny ain't it? How can I secure a half worked mission...

because I have to wait for the outcome within 2 weeks time.

Thanks to your prayers, (CT and MQ) I have recovered from the nasty cold. Hubby's sharing my antibiotics.. (kad insuran tak dapat lagi, sebab kena bayar dua orang je ambil ubat... huhu..).

Told ya!

2009-01-05T14:46:00.003+08:00

See... I completely forgot to update. So here is my first post for the year 2009!

I'm down with a terrible cold, therefore I have to get a full bed rest today. Tomorrow I got a very important mission to accomplish.

Awaiting new year...

2008-12-31T20:48:00.003+08:00

I'm blogging while listening carefully to my kids in the shower. Multitasking is the most important skill as a mother. Juggling 2 or 3 tasks is normal. A mother should be able to juggle about 5 to 7 tasks. The more the children the more your multitasking ability will have to develop.
I wanted to write a post before new year but since I just got a call requesting me to send in a document ASAP... I have to delay this for later...
In case I didn't get the chance to update...

HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!

Bila ada duit...

2008-12-29T00:14:00.002+08:00

Basically translated to "When money permits..."
Whenever I came across friends sharing their holiday journey, I asked myself, why can't I have that. Where has all Hubby's money gone to at the end of the month that we can barely have some for a family vacation? Then I remembered the conversation we had on our way back from BJ. Turns out we don't have the extra cash because we spent a lot on huge purchase like our home, our Hilux, ours and kids insurances.. etc, which accumulated to almost 70% of our monthly income. His sole income. The rest of the money goes to bills, groceries, shopping if needed. Basically we spent a lot for things now so that we can retire rich! Hahaha...
As for family vacations, every year we have PD trip during CNY. And now we can add trips to CH for the next 3 years. Even though Hani has yet to have her own passports, I'm pretty sure we would be happy even if she doesn't have one. Besides, she's too young to remember any trip we make. Heheh..
As far as the holidays are concern, I don't think it's that important if we ended up with holes in our pockets. It is supposed to be a holiday, a break from work. But why would anyone want to come home with huge debt in their accounts? Hahaha.. I know some people who actually planned these holidays and took quite an amount of loan for it. But I salute those who can actually go for trips and make sure everyone have fun with limited RMs being spent. Wonder if I can do that for mine in the future.
Bila ade duit kan sayang? We'll enjoy ourselves like no one's business and brag about it. Hahaha.... And this is a promise... not the bragging part of course.

Independent girl

2008-12-28T22:55:00.003+08:00

Hani has now declared herself to be an independent little girl. She wants to do everything by herself. Problem is, she's only 16 months old. She wants to dress herself, feed herself and if she can, she even wants to clean after herself on her own.

Today we went for a relatives wedding reception. She insist on feeding herself. I felt so guilty for the waiters and waitresses for the aftermath. There were more rice on the floor and table rather than the ones going into her cute little tummy. I think... Whenever I tried to feed her, she shook her head so hard and started screaming.. "NANAK!!!!" I know it seems funny to everyone, but when you kept brushing off rice on your dress and hers, I think you would definitely get irritated at some point. There was no baby chair available, and I had to sit her on my lap and eat, hence the hideous mess we created. Hehehe..
Then again the same situation happens at the restaurant at dinner time. The only different, she's sitting in a baby chair. No mess on my part but her uncle got rice stuck to his pants. She'll be the first one to eat and the last one to finish. The first because she'll start screaming for the food as if she has not eaten for days. And the last one to finish because she enjoyed the freedom of feeding herself. Such a big girl she is. Hahaha..
One thing though, she hates the mess she has created. She insists on cleaning up after that. Me being the ignorant guest and customer just brush off the request and left the scene. Hahaha... Hani will point to the mess and says... "O'oh!" And starts looking for tissues or towels. She can even demand that I help her look for one. Hahaha... What a girl!
And yes, she does clean up after her own mess at home. That's why our tissue box can be empty within 2 days time. I should start teaching her to use cloth instead or we'll run out of trees by the time she can say "Clean-up Time!"

Happy Holidays to All!

2008-12-25T02:10:00.003+08:00

Just had a very interesting conversation with my neighbour regarding Christmas. I feel like sharing but I don't really want to upset or offend anyone due to the sensitive issues it could bring.
Anyway, I'm still awake waiting for laundry. Pack our luggage for one-night stay in Jengka. It'll take me at least a couple of hours to make sure everything is in. Hehe.. I can't imagine how my cousin dealt with packing with 4 kids. She must've started packing days ahead. Huhuhu.... Just our luck, our ever so loyal Hilux has gotten into a trouble of its own. As of now, Hubby decided to borrow his mom's car. Because cancelling the trip is not an option. I can't even begin to imagine what my mom would think once I gave her the reason for not going back.
So, I'll be spending Christmas holiday in Jengka and back to Klang on friday. Hubby couldn't take any leave. Then 2 wedding on the weekend. But I have only one thing in mind. I want to see babies!!! Hahaha.... I really hope we have the time for baby visits after the wedding.
Have a good holiday everyone!!!

Have you no shame?

2008-12-24T01:39:00.004+08:00

Yesterday, my loyal brother told me how my mom has been babbling and ranting how her eldest daughter (me) has been telling her that she'll be back to help clearing some of the junks in the house to ease up the moving process. So, I decided to give her a call to tell her how sorry I am. Huhuhu... But instead I got this.
Not so recently, my parents have been facing trouble with their tenant. This family have been staying at our house in KB for almost 5 years. I think. I remember how he begged my mom to let them stay because apparently he has fallen in love with the house. Even when my mom insisted that the house is not for rent, he kept pushing for it. His last effort? Went to our neighbour for the spare keys and took it from her. I was shocked and wanted to intervene but my father (who has the kindest heart) told me it's going to be alright. The first few months the rental came in every month. Then once in few months time. Once as in just one month payment even though there are arrears of 4 months. Then.. no money came in. This has been going for years.
And now, since my parents are moving to CH and will be staying in a fully-furnished house, they have decided to send the current furniture back home. Dad has given them evacuation notice since last month, and found out that they have no intention to move and just informed that they're ready to make room for mom's things to arrive. I can imagine how pissed off my mom was when she heard the news. She called and got the wife. She gave her a piece of her mind and told them to get out of the house or else! Hahaha... The wife tried to sweet talk mom by telling that they don't have a place to go, bla bla bla.... Heard that the wife was on wheelchair. Her attempt to get her handbag from the snatch thief gone bad. Ended up with broken legs and arm. But that was quite some time ago.
I know it seems so cruel to kick them out of the house with their situation. But they have never respected any of my parents requests. They have not only stop paying rental, but my mom have been telling them to move out since last year!!! Way before the snatch happened. Dad wants to do major renovation to the house. And has been putting it off because of these.. I don't know what to label them. Shameless people? The husband has been avoiding calls. He claimed that business has not been doing very well hence the late payment. What late payment? You have not been paying rent for the last 3 years!!!! If you can't afford to pay then get out!!!

FYI: The rental is RM300 a month for a kampung style bungalow with a front yard that can fit a badminton court.

Can we have another baby, Honey?

2008-12-22T00:43:00.002+08:00

This month I have been getting good news after another from friends. If it's not a wedding, it's the arrival of babies. Unfortunately I have yet to make time for a visit. Been nagged by my mom to go back to Jengka. She wants me to take my junks from her place. Hahaha... Anyway, back to the main topic. I have yet to see the newborns but already have this mixed feeling of when should I be having another baby. At doctor's advice I should take at least a 2-year rest. Initially I told Hubby I'm giving myself 3 years. But now, I'm not too sure I can wait that long.
Usually ladies with my current condition does not have what doctors considered a normal menstrual cycle. As for me, I got my cycle right after the confinement period. Both with Imran and Hani. And I never missed it. Not once. So the family planning part is quite easy. Until I forgot my ovulation day, then there could be unplaned pregnancy. Huhuhu... I wanted to get Implanon and have asked doctors for advice. It's the one most recommended for me. But I decided not to. Too scared. I can't bear the thought of having a foreign object under your skin. Since all contraceptive product for women will disturb the cycle, I felt 100% sure of not taking any. Hahaha..
But I'm in a somewhat dangerous situation. I want to have another child. Though Hubby's not too keen to have one right now. I can play to forgeting card and just call it an accident. But I won't. I want to have more children but I don't have to trick Hubby. It ain't right. Hahaha... Maybe after Hani turns 3. At least I got 2 helpers to bid as and when I want to.Both of them have been very helpful nowadays. Especially when I can't reach the TV remote.
So Honey... should we wait another year?

L.A.Z.Y...??

2008-12-21T01:28:00.003+08:00

I have so many things to write but once I sat my big asset in front of this very loyal machine, I got distracted by all the worldly attractions. Haha.. Mainly the online games. And of course blog-hopping...
Anyway, today was kind of a fruitful day. After a wedding reception in Rawang, we made a stop to Sungai Buloh. For those into gardening would definitely know the attraction. Hihihi... We ended up with two trees. I have no idea what is the exact name for it but I used to call it 'Pokok Pisang Kipas'. Haha... It has been an argument on whether it's a palm or banana tree. Neither Hubby nor me has ever been bothered to look up for the name or it's actual type. Somehow we just managed to totally drop the subject and leave it be whatever we wanted it to be.
We also purchased a few stone-slaps for the back of our house. We have about 5 feet unused space which normally homeowners would use to extend their kitchen but we have decided to do just yet. So I asked Hubby if we could clear up the space so I can start my herb garden project. Kind of a wishful thinking but I would like to give it a try. Hopefully I can train my thumbs to be green. Hahahaha!!

I woke up in the middle of the night...

2008-12-14T04:37:00.004+08:00

and got myself the I'm-a-bad-mother-panic-attack. All of the sudden my heart hurt so much with this guilt feeling of whatever that I have done wrong to my kids. Everything flashes through my mind. The day I dropped Hani, scolded Imran for not refusing to eat, scream at Hani for hitting her big brother (she just turned one!) and everything that has the same element of scolding smacking and late development. (which does not include the late teeth development)
Anyway, I do have this kind of panic attack some times before. But not in the middle of my beauty sleep. My unconscious mind must be telling me something. Have I missed something? Today I got to know that my friends are sending their kids to kindergarten at the age of four. I personally wanted to send Imran when he turns 5. Since some school teachers advised me to do so. Even my mother told me not to send off Imran for academic learning at a very early age.
Am I jealous of what other kids can do academically? Of course I am. My son can barely writes but he has had a very good attempt in doing so. He can recognize all the alphabets and numbers but not words. And obviously he doesn't do sums. But I'm still proud of him. Because I have never forced him to any of this. But when I see kids who are able to do simple word reading and additions, it made me wonder have I missed something?
When I was wandering around the children section at Borders, The Curve (while waiting for a friend getting dental check-up), I saw few kids reading with their parents. And I see Imran running all over the place with excitement and Hani rearranging the books on the shelves. The two of them were really excited seeing all the books but unfortunately all for the wrong reason. Hahaha.... Somehow it did give some satisfaction seeing how happy they are in a bookstore. Though I wish I could bring them to library. Wishful thinking I guess. Had to wait for another, let's see.. 3 years? Huhuhu.....
I know I've been quite ambitious on preparing Imran to write and read. To me he's too young to be burden with early learning materials. But the competition out there has made me wonder should I sent him for and early education? Thanks to Allah, Hubby agrees with me on the too young subject. He said just send to him to kindergarten for socializing and getting the idea of paying attention and listening to orders. and somehow I think in one way we need to detach him from me. And sending him off to kindergarten is the next best thing after MIL.
Do I feel guilty leaving him after 3 whole years taking care of him 24/7? Absolutely! People might think I'm cold-hearted mom who didn't shed any tears when Hani was wailing and screaming when her hand was being poked for IV. But I know I can be strong. Praise to Allah. Now I;m being ridiculous. MIL once said about how she worries sometime about her sons. As I have told her several times, it doesn't matter how old your children are, whether they have turned grandparents themselves, they will always be your children. I have no idea how it feel to let go of your children but I do know that it's not easy to see them growing up. Especially when you realized something is amiss.
Please Allah, let me do everything I can to protect and nourish my children. Amin....

The day I got one year older....

2008-12-11T18:37:00.003+08:00

is the day Imran first movie at the cinema! Wuhoooo!!! He enjoyed every second of it.
Yesterday Hubby decided it's time for a movie at the cinema. Since we're just 5 minutes away from it. Hehehe... I wanted to watch Madagascar 2. Unfortunately the showtime was way too late and very inappropriate for the kids. So we went for Bolt instead. I can't remember the last movie I watched because that happened more than 3 years ago! Huhuhuhu..
Anyway, while I was worried about Imran's reaction, I completely forgotten about Hani's. Since I will be holding Hani, we thought it wouldn't be a problem. Boy it could not be more wrong! The moment we stepped into the room, Hani froze. Apparently dark places and loud noises does come easy to her. Hahaha.. And this is the girl who could sleep soundly while mummy vacuuming the room. Haiyak! As soon as the movie started, she started to wriggle her body to show how uncomfortable she was. Hubby took her and brought her outside. I was enjoying the first quarter of the movie when I felt guilty ad decided to take turns.
Result? I missed half of the movie because Hani refused to go back inside. I had to wait until she was really sleepy and start to sweet talk her and bribe with BF. Sneaky me? Naahh... Fortunately I went in time for the climax. The movie of course. Hahaha... I had forgotten how loud the sound system can be in a movie theatre. It was deafening!!! I totally understand why Hani was miserable. Wait a minute? Did I just use 'totally'? Yikes! I really need to buff up on my vocab!
Finally Hani fell asleep on my lap. Imran was definitely enjoying his first time at the cinema. Hubby was having a good time. And the birthday lady? Well, there wasn't any candle blowing moment or cakes. Nor do I get any present! Huhuh... But I am just happy that Hubby chose this day to have family movie time! Thank you sweetheart, maybe on your birthday we can watch the full movie without the dramas. Provided there's a good PG13 movies. Hahaha....

Hani oh.. Hani

2008-12-11T05:28:00.004+08:00

She is currently obsessed with David Archuleta's song Crush. She can actually start to throw tantrums if I change the channel when the clip is playing on TV. Not to mention playing it on youtube just for the sake of distracting her. She'll starts by squirming he body in a way you would understand how angry she is. Then uses her voice to elaborate more on her frustration. Huhuh...

And here's another activity she loves to do....

IMRAN!!!!

2008-12-10T12:29:00.003+08:00

About half an hour ago, I heard a loud thump in my closet, followed by Imran screaming. Went to check and saw this 6-chests MALM drawer has fallen with its content all over him. I wanted to scream out of panic because I was thinking the worse. Lift up the stupid drawer and surprisingly Imran got up and went out of the way. I was like.. okay, no broken bones. Let's see... I kept asking him, do you feel pain? (stupid question, I know) Where's the pain? And my boy kept saying his legs and his back but he was definitely not crying because of the pain. He was crying because he did something wrong and afraid of what I might do to punish him. I can assure everyone that I definitely did not let out my wrath when I found out he was actually using the drawers to climb to the top. Even though I have told him not to when caught him doing it several times before. I just pray that this will be his last try to repeat test his climbing skills.
Oh, Imran got away with a little scratch on his back. What a close call.

(picture courtesy of www.ikea.com)

How do you deal...

2008-12-10T01:56:00.002+08:00

with people giving you advices which you know perfectly well does not really suits your belief?
I believe that my children will be alright even though they have yet to talk properly, potty-trained and most important is the part where it has been quite an issue for me personally. To get him to behaved in public. Heheh..
Truth be told, I know Imran can be a handful sometimes, especially when he's bored. And when he throws tantrums, that's just about it. He just won't give in. Especially when we're going out either window shopping or grocery shopping. His wailing would definitely drive strangers crazy and start giving me the what-kind-of-a-mother-are-you look? I don't blame them. Seriously, I don't. Lucky me though, Imran often scream because he's bored. Not because his demands were ignored. He'll start of saying he's sleepy and wants to take stroller ride. Even though Hani has already occupied and sleeping soundly in it, we will quickly give in because no one wants to carry Imran. Haha.. poor boy! But what happened when we forgot to bring the ever so loyal stroller? That's when war occurs.
My mom has been nagging about potty-training Imran. She brag about how she trained me and my siblings to be diaper less by the age of 2. Who doesn't want their child to be rid of diaper? But I surely not going to push Imran to do something he doesn't understand. Honestly, I'm having trouble teaching him what 'kencing'(pee) is. When I put him on the toilet to pee. He kept saying 'takde kencing! takde kencing' (there's no pee! there's no pee!). Even if I kept him for quite sometime, there was still no pee. I remember when we had to collect his urine during a check-up for his high fever, it took us around 2 hours to get it. He really knows how to hold his pee that I can say. When a mother shared how it took her 4 months to trained his son. I know I'm alright. I'm definitely still a good mother. Hahaha...
Another issue is, kindergarten. For heaven's sake, Imran is just 3++ years old. I'm proud to say he can recognize alphabets and numbers. He can even write some of them. And it didn't stress me one bit to get him to sit down and write. Not once. I did try to get him to sit and write sometimes but he gets bored quickly. Never force. Just ask. Has yet to teach him sums. Hahaha.. There's nothing wrong with early education. But not to the extend they have to worry about exams at a very young age. For your information, he has starts to recognize arabic letters. How about that? Hehehe..
So please people, just let it go. As long as Hubby agress with my method of raising our children, I highly appreciate all the advice but try not to question why I don't do it the way you see fit. Because as far as I know, Hubby and I are still their parents.

I love you Hubby!!

2008-12-09T00:12:00.003+08:00

I got my dressing table!! At last... hehehe...
Hubby being such a very good handyman has put up the EXPIDIT (I think) rack bought from IKEA to make a new dressing table for us. He also install the mirror which came free with the walk-in closet we had assembled few months back. Finally! Hehehe
Now all I have to do is find whatever I can to fill up the empty space.

All grown up

2008-12-02T00:14:00.003+08:00

It's my dad's birthday today. 2nd of December. I know someone has the same birth date as him. My best friend's son. Hehehe... Huge age gap there.
Let's see... today my dad turns... hmm.. 55 this year. supposedly retiring next year but with the sudden promotion plus transfer, he has another 3 years to go. I was wondering when he's going to stop working for good. For someone like Dad, he would definitely be restless if he's not working. I'm not sure about the money though. I knew he has savings, but according to Sis, his money has been drained out but that's just a speculation. She just happens to see the statement of his bank accounts. Maybe I should ask her which bank she saw? Hahaha...
Everyone has problems. It's a matter of how they deal with them. Run away or just keep your head up and settle them. Unfortunately there are those people who tends to get someone to settle the problems for them. Especially when it comes to money. I can understand how people can have bad financial situation at one point. But it just pisses me off when they expect someone else to come to the rescue. I'm not talking about newlyweds or just become parents kind of situation. I'm talking about a family whose kids are all grown up. Living in their own house, driving luxury cars where all kids have their own. For those who can have driver's license of course. And still have the guts to come to their relatives and ask for money due to the humongous debt on their shoulders. Why in God's name would anyone in their right mind would want to help these people? Oh wait... because it's the right thing to do.
Anyway, I'm not saying that we shouldn't help our relatives when they're in trouble. But shouldn't it be a lesson too for them? They would've thought of changing their lifestyle. But no! They went on living their life as if nothing has happened and went back to their debt. Don;t they watch Suze Ormon's Show on CNN? Till debt do us part in Discovery? Guess they don't. Those people ended up selling their house, cars and everything they have just to get out of debt and avoid declaring bankruptcy.
All grown up doesn't really mean all grown up. There are lots of grown up people acting as if they are bunch of youngsters where they can turn to someone for money. Specifically cash! Growing up takes a lot more than just adding numbers to your age.
I'm going out of the context already. Hahahaha...
Happy birthday Dad!! Don't worry about me! I am happily married to a grown up man. Though it's nice to know there's still a naughty kid inside that very young heart. Love you Dad!!

Not in the mood...

2008-12-01T16:24:00.003+08:00

for blogging. I'm still active with blog hopping though. Just not in the mood to write.
As some of you might have known, I have been looking for a job and preparing myself to get back in the rat race. Up till now, no good news. There's no bad news either. After few weeks of looking, I only went for one interview. Hahaha... The first time I went for interview was 5 years ago. Imagine how nervous I was to go for it. I really thought I nailed the interview. The very nice lady even told me the position she wants to give me. Told me everything I need to know about the company. The benefits, the perks and wanted to get the director to come and have a word with me. Or maybe that was just an act. I don't know. I was really hoping tat was it. I'll get this job. They kept asking how soon can I start. And I need to make sure I'm not pregnant to through the medical check-up and all..
It has been one week. I need a job!! Hubby promised me a car once I got a job offer. Pleas call me with a job offer.... PLEASE!!!!

p/s: Geez Anis.. get a grip on yourself. It's just a job...

Weak or just plain old....

2008-11-26T00:15:00.005+08:00

Last Thursday I had to call Hubby to come home early as I was unable to get up to prepare food for my kids. I was shivering like no one's business. I remember the last last I shivered severely like this was I got chickenpox. Ended up took the bus ride all the way to Jengka. Hahaha.. That was back in the single days of course. But today I was definitely defeated by fever. It was not even a high fever. Just the common viral fever. But I was down for 2 days straight. Then to make matter worse, Hani caught it right after I have gain my normal body temperature. Poor angel was so grumpy and moody that it really kills me to see how uncomfortable she was. Up till today she still has yet to gain her voice. Though she no longer has fever.
During the sick days, it really hit me that I seriously need to be prepared of sick days. I rarely get sick. Even if I do, never to the extend I was not able to get up and feed my kids. That was bad. Very, very bad. I felt so helpless. I have always believed I can beat any sickness. As long as I can take care of my family, I'll be fine. But what IF..?? With a family history of cancer, it's not exactly a pretty thought to have in mind. Then again I could be way off in the worry wart department. Huhuhu...
Maybe, just maybe I'm getting old. I know some of you who would definitely disagree with me. Don't get me wrong. We just don't have the energy of a 3-year old. We definitely don't have the healing ability of a 3-year old. Hahaha... How I wish I was 3 again... Sure, you can jump and get to see how well you can avoid the fall. And have your mom come running and screaming at you to stop doing whatever that is you're doing. How amazed you are that your mom has eyes and ears everywhere no matter how discrete you have tried to bully your sister. The complete ignorance to the fact that you can actually hurt yourself by jumping off the couch. What a bliss!!!!
Let's face the fact, I am definitely getting old. No matter how young at heart I may feel, my bones and muscles tell me otherwise. Either get in the program or keep by the phrase, ignorance is bliss and join in with my 3-year old boy in his game of torturing his darling sister. Huhuhu....

Have you ever?

2008-11-19T17:18:00.002+08:00

p/s: This poem was not written by blog owner nor does it reflects her life. An anonymous poet wrote this years ago and blog owner has kept it in her collection for no specific reasons.

Home at last...

2008-11-19T03:11:00.002+08:00

I'm still exhausted from the long hour drive. Even though I did not drive but somehow I ended up with pain in the back. Not to mention the one on the arse. Huhuh....
Dearest Hubby told me it's a 2-night stay. And I packed just enough for 2-night stay with a few extra clothes for the kids. When MIL told us we're spending 2 nights in Penang, I gave Hubby a very mean glare which he understood that I have not packed enough clothes. Hahaha.. Not to mention diapers!!! Thank goodness the owner of the apartment in Penang has provided us with a washing machine. Huhu.. It has been quite some time that I need to hang dry my laundry. Tedious! Not to mention taking turns with MIL as she was doing her share of laundry too.
Anyway, due to Hubby's lack of energy (being the sole driver continuously for4 days), my kids rarely got the chance to spend time in the swimming pool. Plus we were having quite a hard time with Imran. He has found a phobia with deep water. Even with floaters on both arms and holding tightly to me or Hubby, he will start to scream and cry if his feet does not touch the floor. Trust me when I said nothing bad has happen to my son to make him scared of the deep pool.
When we finally arrived home, I realized how much I will not miss the family trip. Imran and Hani was behaving good throughout the long drive. But at some point when Imran starts to throw tantrums, I was not able to scold him. Let alone smack his hand for hitting his sister. I have nothing against my MIL. She's the dearest soul I have ever met. But if anyone knows my kids, they do have my tantrums as I have explained in previous post. And with my temper, who's to know the limit of my patience handling misbehaving kids. Hahaha...
Ya Allah... Please save my children from Your wrath as well as mine... Amiiinn...
LAUNDRY TIME!!!!!!!!

Out of this state

2008-11-14T22:33:00.002+08:00

In few hours time we'll be on our journey towards North. Hubby's cousin is getting married tomorrow. Due to some poor planning. (hahaha.. Hubby's going to kill me) We have decided to drive all night long and try our best arrive at dawn. we'll carpol with his parents so the backseat will be a little bit crowded but I'm pretty sure MIL will make sure her grandkids will be as comfortable as they can. Talk about going all out just for sake of the kids, who would be sleeping all the way (Oh God! Please let them sleep soundly all the way!), whilst I'm preparing myself for leg cramps.
On Sunday we're going to head to Penang for a night stay. Not sure where to spend the night yet. Huhu... Just leave that to MIL. She's the best at planning family trips. Seriously! She's good....
Anyway, I'll be out for a couple of days. As if I'm blogging on daily basis. Hahaha... I'm sure no one will miss me that much!
Have a good weekend to all!!!!

10 years ago....

2008-11-12T16:03:00.006+08:00

Hubby brought back boxes of our stuffs from MIL's place. She had kindly cleared our room. Found old photos from my younger years. Hahaha...

I can barely remember who's who in this photo but I do remember some of the activities we did during the course. It was held in Terengganu. Can't remember the exact name. Was it Bukit Kelawang or something? I remember carrying few chicken eggs in my fanny pack when we went for jungle trekking. Yes! I am guilty of using one back then. Doing abseiling was not so fun when our facilitator wanted me to do it head first. Hahaha...

p/s: I have no idea how many times I've edited this post. Too many typo error. I seriously need to brush up on my vocabulary as well as grammar. Dictionary and Thesaurus will be on my next shopping list. HAHAHA

Summary

2008-11-12T14:45:00.005+08:00

Saturday (8/11/2008)

My one and only sister's birthday. She turns 27. Complaining about how she's having difficulty to find the right man to settle down and starts a family. Had to remind her do not put my happy family as the benchmark for yours!! Hahaha..

Got ready late morning and drove to Nilai. Hubby wanted to check on his rental apartment. The previous tenant has not paid 3 months rental and has been given warning to get out or we'll clear the apartment for him. Hubby was definitely ticked off by this guy. Late payment every month. Had to reminded every single day to bank-in the money. And now, after Hubby threatened to increase the rental, he agreed to move out. That's settled. now to get new tenant. But firstly we need to check the place. Just how much damaged has been caused by this guy. Dining, living, kitchen area was all right. Unfortunately not the master bedroom. There's a leakage from upstairs. To all who has neighbours upstairs you would know the hassle to get them to pay for repairs. So Hubby decided to paint over them first on the advice of the maintenance guy of course.

Sunday (9/11/2008)

Another trip to Nilai. It's cleaning time. Packed ourselves with paint brushes and cleaning clothes, we were ready to clean up the mess previous tenant has left. Lucky for us, the kids was behaving quite well. Apart from the fact there's no entertainment from the loyal idiot box. Haha..
Came home to a messy house. I've already cleaned the living and kitchen area but still awaiting time and energy to do the rest of the house. Can't even get myself to fold the laundry! Huhuh.. exhausted!!!
Monday (10/11/2008)
Woke up to an empty freezer. Thought of doing grocery shopping and have lunch outside. Hubby reminded me MIL going to pick me and the kids after Dzuhur. We're spending the night at Rawang. So I have to pack thing for overnight stay. I hate packing. Especially when you discover that you forgot to pack extra clothes for the kids. Not to forget I keep forgetting to pack floaters for the kids to use in the pool. I can never get tired of listening to people reminding me that. Especially when I have to pack for three and a half. Hahaha.. Hubby can pack for himself. But I just like to get annoyed by doing it for him. Sounds pathetic? It is!
Tuesday(11/11/2008)
On the way back, we made a stop at IKEA. I was wearing flip-flops with t-shirt and jeans. Seems like a 'bibik' rather than a mother of two. Not to mention we had our lunch at Waroeng Penyet. Sheeshh... Arrived home, went straight to the washing machine. I had a mountain of dirty laundry. Bedsheets, blankets, towels which was supposed to be done on Monday. So there I was, clearing up laundry and trying to think what to have for dinner. Decided on frankfurters, scrambled egg with cheese and toasts. Breakfast meal became dinner for us. Well, at least Imran was not complaining. He finished 3 frankfurters.
Oh and I have to prepare for assessment test the next day. 10 am at Glenmarie.
Wednesday (12/11/2008)
Went for the assessment test. Stopped at Tesco for 2 days groceries. Arrived home exhausted. Wanted to take a nap. Ended up playing pack rat and bubble town. Hahaha....
So there, the boring life of moi!

For my dear sweet Hubby...

2008-11-07T17:00:00.002+08:00

Sweet Sour Siakap for tonight's dinner.

When did I stopped cuddling Imran?

2008-11-05T02:34:00.003+08:00

Every day I will cuddle Hani until she squeals for freedom. I'll hug her as tight as I can and she'll enjoy the first few kisses and then starts to scream for me to let go. Hehehe.. She smells so nice. Babies do. Then I realized I have not cuddle Imran for quite some time. I know I always do that to him too. But when did I stop doing so? I even asked Hubby about it. Obviously he wouldn't know about it either.
Don't get me wrong. I do give Imran and occasional cuddle when I can. It's just that Imran kept pushing me away. Has he grown out of cuddling? He enjoys hugging, though. And he really love to put his arm around Hani at night. Even though Hani hates it. She's not exactly a cuddling type actually. She can refused cuddling even when she's already fallen asleep.
I missed cuddling Imran and Hani at the same time. We use to sit on the sofa and watch cartoon with both of them on my lap. Nowadays, they even ignored me at some point. As long as I'm within 2 metre-radius, they're fine. It not, one will start screaming for me.
I'm going to bed. One thing both my kids can't seem to let go is. Sleeping on the same bed. Apparently Hubby is comfortable enough sleeping on the single mattress meant for Imran. It's just wish I could be the one between Imran and Hani so I can hug them both. Unfortunately, I'm the culprit that separate Imran from Hani. Huhuhuhu.....

My apology goes out to Knufflebunneh!

2008-11-04T16:34:00.002+08:00

Few days ago, I admit to a friend that I am one of those disrespectful people who chose not to return their shopping cart to it's rightful place. Though I do not block any parking spaces nor the road, I feel terrible for not returning the cart. And today I did it again!
Ever since I go grocery shopping without Hubby, I seems to have lost the ability of being a responsible person. You see, my excuse is this. When you lave heavy loads of wet and dry groceries, you tend to chose the easy path. Strapping two kids in the car, making sure everything is inside and paid for, keys are in place and the list goes on, the easiest way to handle the cart is moving it out of the way. Of course that goes to other people's way too. I'm not that selfish.
But to the people who have been a victim of my lack of responsibly and respect. I am very sorry! Please accept my humble public apology. This is not a joke. I am serious. I know how it feels to have disrespectful people leaving their cart right in the middle of the parking space.

My first attempt

2008-11-02T16:36:00.006+08:00

That's right. After so many times I've told myself I need to learn to cook traditional delicacy. Here's to me... Huhuh..
MIL gave us a bunch of sweet potatoes which I know we're going to have a hard time finishing just by steaming and boiling. So I took this chance to try my culinary skills. So there!
The name I have been informed is Cek Mek Molek. Is there any other names I should know about?

A hypocrite?

2008-11-02T04:19:00.003+08:00

hyp-o-crite
1 : a person who puts on a false appearance of virtue or religion
2 : a person who acts in contradiction to his or her stated beliefs or feelings

How do you feel when someone accused you of being a hypocrite? I was stunned. A bit blur too. What exactly did I do to make people think that, I wonder? Maybe I am a hypocrite. Then again why do you care? Hahaha... So does everyone else. According to the definition above it seems that everyone else is guilty as I am. Who in their right mind would want to show how they exactly feels all the time? Would you actually say to a person you hate their guts just to avoid being a hypocrite? I know I won't. I just keep my big mouth shut and get on with my blissful life.
Anyway, someone asked me a quite interesting question. How can I be so content with my life? Does that sound right? Hehehe... It took me a few days to actually realized that I am happy with my life. I am definitely content. I don't really remember the last time I cried myself to sleep. After 3 years of being a housewife, I have finally accept it. Ironically, Hubby just asked me to get a good-paying job within this month. Hahaha... The thought of going into the rat-race definitely bugs me. But after a few days of applying for jobs online, I have become a little bit excited. Hahaha... calm down. I haven't even got any interview offer yet.
Last year someone asked me have I ever had any disagreement with Hubby. She was trying to ask have I ever had a fight with Hubby. Of course we fight! It's just a matter of how you handle it. If you tend to dwell on the fact he's not the perfect guy for you, then your marriage is doomed. However, if you remember how his quirkiness stole your heart and turned you into the biggest jelly, then the sacrifices you make could well be worth all the pain. Just remember we're not that perfect either.
If you think I have the perfect marriage. Yes I believe do.

I'm sorry Imran

2008-10-30T16:17:00.003+08:00

I wanted to share this little story which happened about a couple of weeks ago. All this while I thought every time Hani cried, its either she was hurt or being bullied by Imran. But this incident changed my quick-to-judge assumption. hehehe
I was tired from doing house chores and cooking. So I decided to bring everyone upstairs so that I can take a nap. I was lying on my bed when I heard Hani was crying. I asked Imran what happened and he just pointed at the drawers where I keep their clothes. I immediately thought that Hani's fingers was stuck between the drawers which has happened lots of time. I just told Imran to be careful and make sure hani doesn't get hurt. A couple of minutes went by and Hani was crying again. I got up without putting on my glasses just called Imran and asked him again. What happened? He pointed to the drawers again and just said that he hit Hani's hand. I told him to stop doing that and he just kept quiet. And I told Hani to come to me and join me to take afternoon nap. I even forced Imran to go to sleep. Fortunately every one did.
When I woke up afterwards, as I was walking towards the toilet, I stopped and saw the aftermaths of what Hani did before. The truth was, Imran scolded Hani for clearing his drawers. That's right. What I saw was Imran clothes has filled up my laundry basket and his drawer was empty!!! Arrggghhh..... I'm glad I just scolded Imran and did not smack his hand. Hani has cleared his drawer!! Hahaha... Guess when she saw the empty basket she had a sudden urge to fill it up. And the one drawer that she can reach was Imran's.
I am terribly sorry Imran for scolding you without confirming every single details. This is what you get when your mother doesn't have the perfect eyesight. Huhuhu...

BF story

2008-10-23T16:57:00.005+08:00

I've read a lot of posts on BF. But I have yet to share my experience in BF my kids. The obvious difference is that I'm a stay-at-home-mother. So there's no need for me to pump. Well, that's not the real reason actually. The story goes this way...
When I gave birth to Imran, it was an unplanned c-section. Even during that moment I have already decided to BF my baby. With full support from Hubby and my dearest mom. There was a bit disagreement on some family members but I try to take it as a challenge. Unfortunately for me though, I did not inform the nurses that I want to BF my baby so Imran's first milk was FM. Sorry sweetheart, I had blacked-out due to the massive anesthetic. Hahaha.. excuses. Anyway, there was not much help from nurses. I was having trouble to BF because neither moms had experience. It took me quite some time until Imran was able to nurse. A couple of weeks actually. I almost quit but Hubby firmly told me not to.
I was in pain due to my swollen breasts. Thank goodness in didn't get worse. I tried pumping but Imran still refuse to drink even from the bottle. Guess it tasted weird. Huuhuh.. When Imran finally agreed to nurse, I was so relieved. When I went back to work, I did left some BM for Imran however it was not enough. And I was not aware that I can pump at work so by the time I reached home my breast was heavy! Hahaha.. Seriously! My mom told me to put cabbage to lessen the swelling pain and I did! Imagine having a piece of cabbage inside your bra. Ahh.. sweet memories that was. Huhuhuh...
Anyway, after I left work, I decided I was too lazy to pump and bottle-feed Imran. Besides, Hubby was having a tough time to wake up in the middle of night. So around 3 or 4 months, Imran decided he has had enough with bottles. Hooray for Hubby!! No more waking up to prepare milk! And I need to learn how to BF lying on my side. From there onwards, Imran was definitely fully BF. Hehehe.. Though I've had some comment that BM is not nutritious enough compared to FM? I just shrugged them off. To me, they have no idea what they're saying.
When I first found out I was pregnant with Hani, my mom already warned me about BF during pregnancy. She adviced me to wean Imran ASAP. Given the fact usually it takes some time to wean a baby. Probably o1 to 2 months. If lucky, a few days or week. Heheh... But I went on BF until I was around 6 months pregnant. During pregnancy, my milk supply was ample enough for Imran. I still have to wear breast pad on daily basis because I was leaking through my t-shirts. Then again he was already on solid food, and MIL has told me to start Imran on formula. So we did. But I still BF during night time. Besides I was busy at the laundry shop during the day.
The weaning stage for Imran was a breeze. I did not expect it to be so quick. I've read about tips to wean but I chose a more friendly way. Haha... Most tips say to use coffee or lemon or lime. But I found it to harsh. I'm already addicted to coffee, I don't my baby to hate coffee. Hahaa.. As for lemon or lime, it's too acidic. Scared it would upset his tummy. Hehehe.. So I decided to use.. PEANUT BUTTER!!!! HAHAHA... I know, I know. What if Imran loves it? Then I'll just use something else. Lucky for me Imran hated it. And it only took me one time to do it. That's right. The next day he was weaned. Kind of put me in a very awkward position because I definitely did not expect it to be that fast. I thought I was giving Imran ample time for weaning. So Imran was weaned at around 22 months old. Almost 2 years.
Then Hani arrived. During confinement, Imran got a flashback because he was crying when I refuse to BF him. When I was being massaged, milk was dripping, and Imran came to me and asked for it. He went berserk when I refuse. You see, I'm not comfortable with tandem nursing. I would've feed him if not for the ladies in the house kept telling it's not his milk anymore, it belong to his sister now. Please don't judge me... Despite me not wanting to tandem nurse, I was feeling guilty for refusing to feed Imran. He was already 2 years old. Heh!
As for Hani, she went through the same ordeal as Imran at the hospital. FM first day, but this time I was prepared. Once I can get up (the very next day of labour), I asked to BF Hani, resulting the unwillingness of Hani to be bottle-fed. Hahaha.. I was so proud of Hani at that moment. She refused to be fed by the nurses. Every time she started to cry, she'll wake up every babies in the nursery so nurses had to stroll her in my room to be fed. Good girl!! I only call them for diaper change. Hahaha...!
And here I am still BF Hani. No idea when to wean. She'll probably wean herself. She tends to drink and eat whatever Imran is having. She was drinking Imran's FM before she turn one. She even refuses BM when she sees Imran drinking from milk from his straw bottle. She's now very good in using straw. She even drinks carton milks. I wonder what what else she'll get from observing her doting brother. Hahaha.. Oh yes, she recognizes Ultraman!

Imran and Ultraman

2008-10-23T03:06:00.003+08:00

All these years I have tried my best to make sure Imran doesn't watch violent shows until he knows when and who he can test his martial-art skills. However, just because he watched one Ultraman episode at a relative's house, Atuk has bought him 3 Ultraman DVD's. From then onwards, he's been watching the movies religously. So far I have managed to make sure he doesn't make Hani a target practice. But not at gramp's place. He'll start to kick and scream if he couldn't take a solid punch at his sister.
These are photos Imran with his Ultraman bought at OU. We went there during the fasting month. He was angry because he left the DVD's in the car. Yes, he carries the cd's everywhere! The toy doesn't work because once he remembered the cd's he'll start to whine again.

I love this one!

2008-10-23T02:43:00.001+08:00

Taken at our hotel room in Genting.

Raya Photos

2008-10-23T02:25:00.003+08:00

Sorry guys! Better late than never right? Heheh..
Hubby's not in the picture though. We were unable to locate the tripod plus Imran was having a mild tantrum that morning.
More photos in my FB.

Finally...!!

2008-10-22T03:01:00.002+08:00

At 14 months, Hani's gum is showing two beautiful teeth coming out!!!!

The case of low self-esteem

2008-10-22T02:46:00.002+08:00

That's right. Though some of you might disagree with that, I do have a very serious problem with self-esteem. I know I can do better. But somehow I need others to give me the boost in order for me to have confident in myself. Unfortunately Hubby is not exactly a cheerleader type. Hehehe...
I've realized this ever since I was in school. I wanted a position but when given the opportunity, I immediately backed out. I chickened out right after the first interview. At least I went for the interview right? Wrong!! At some point people would vote for me. But I would find my way to avoid the responsibility. The one thing kept going through my mind, 'What if I screwed up? I'll let all these people down.' Then I would definitely have a complete emotional breakdown. Might as well I give up. Huhuhu...
So now, I'm having the same situation again. I know I can handle the task. But being surrounded by people with much more experience does not give you the right motivation. Anyway, Hubby has been trying to get me involved in something. Well, this is something I could do. If only I could make some new friends. Preferably around my age? Perhaps? Hmm... It could really give me a boost. See, I'm definitely doomed. I know what I have to do. I need to buck up and just give myself a pat in the back and talk to myself. Hahaha...
Dang Anis! Get a grip will ya?

-blank-

2008-10-20T01:45:00.002+08:00

I'm back!

2008-10-19T00:37:00.002+08:00

After a grueling 6 days of no internet, finally I have successfully changed the power supply for my computer. Hahah.. I could've done this days ago but I wanted to test my addiction level. And good news is I'm not affected that much. Though I could help myself from twittering from Hubby's Iphone and checking out the facebook updates. Huhuhu.. Guess that's why I failed my so-called cold turkey rehab!
Loads of updates but I can't seem to recall what to write right about now so I'll just update on one things which would be a surprise to some of my friends. Hihih.. Here goes...
Yesterday (18/10/2008), I went to a home-owner meeting. I don't really know how many meeting they have done but I have failed miserably to attend. Since Hubby had happily submitted my name for voluntary committee it seems right for me to attend it this time. Hubby has volunteered to take care of Hani and Imran while I attend the meeting alone! So I have no excuse. Hahah.. The truth is I have been interested to attend for quite some time.
Upon arriving 15 minutes late than the scheduled time, I was surprised to see they pre-tem committee was still lingering at the parking lot. Apparently they were still waiting for more people to arrive. Guess it's not exactly a popular meeting. By the time we went in to start, I was the only female in the room. I really want to believe I was also the youngest. Seeing that most of them had to use glasses to read.
With all the issues to be discussed, I have been appointed as a Secretary! Hahaha.. Hubby had predicted that actually. But fortunately for me, our beloved chairman insisted that another gentleman should have that post and I would be his deputy. And here I thought I would be the one chairing the Women Affairs committee. Dang!
After almost one hour, Hubby texted me saying Hani has started crying out for me. Meeting was only halfway through, so I had to run down to get Hani. Lucky me, Hani behaved very well during the meeting and did even asked for her daily dosage of BM. Good girl sweetheart!. Mummy's a Deputy Secretary now. So you need to behave and learn your P's and Q's. Hahahhaa...
The meeting was all right. The matter arises was half way dealt with. I got to know some of my neighbours. I wish I could've known more. I guess some people really need to understand the importance of living in a gated community. Especially those who has to have an access to enter. Sheesshh...
All in all, it was good. I get to at least make myself known to them. Haha.. They even made jokes about how I could get a group of ladies and start a cooking activities. When it comes to the ladies, the activities is to fill up their bulging tummies. Just pray none of them will ever get food poisoning! Hahaha...

You're not that old....

2008-10-12T23:55:00.002+08:00

My sister have been complaining about finding the right guy to settle down. She's worried that she'll be too old to be a mother. God knows why she has this desire to get married as soon as possible. Can't she live life to the fullest and let destiny plays it's part? Haahaha...
Ever since she blossomed (huhu.. I'm controlling my laugh as not to wake Hani up), she has had one too many admirers. Some are all right, some are quite mentally challenged. Somehow she has this tendency to be super nice to guys which makes things even more complicated. Most of her univ peers was younger than her. Not only they were young, apparently they were not mature enough too. Yikes!
Almost in every conversation we had, she would never fail to talk about how it sucks being the single bachelorette when all her friends are either getting married or pregnant. I kept telling her to stop dwelling on it and get on with your life. Somehow she just kept complaining how good men are no longer available and she's stuck with losers. Hahaha....
I even tried to set up a date with one of my friends. But Hubby said no. We're not exactly the kind of people who love to matchmake other people. Hahaha... I don't like the idea either. But I can imagine how desparate my sister was when she kept telling me how she worried that our mom would never approve the men who have actually proposed to her. When the truth is my mom never once set a specific trait or personality for a potential son-in-law. She only prays for her daughters to have good husband and raise a good family.
Come on sis, 27 is not that old...

Insomnia

2008-10-12T03:12:00.002+08:00

Insomnia is a symptom of a sleeping disorder characterized by persistent difficulty falling asleep or staying asleep despite the opportunity. It is typically followed by functional impairment while awake. Insomniacs have been known to complain about being unable to close their eyes or "rest their mind" for more than a few minutes at a time. Both organic and non-organic insomnia constitute a sleep disorder. - from wikipedia obviously!

No, I don't have insomnia. I just have trouble sleeping at night. I can easily sleep during the day provided I would be really tired or the whether is too dang nice to be wasted on doing household chores. Hahahah!!!

Free Handbag

2008-10-12T02:20:00.004+08:00

That's right. I'm not exactly sure how this works but heck, what have I got to loose anyway. So guys, oopss.. gals, let's see if I could be the lucky one. It could be YOU too!!!

HANDBAGPLANET

Computer obsessed?

2008-10-11T03:30:00.004+08:00

Woke up this morning to broken computer. It won't start at all. I was already assuming something wrong with the power cable or something like that. But to Hubby's horror, I was already throwing tantrums because the computer meant so much to me. And I bet he doesn't really understand to what extend I would go just to get connected. Haha... No, I won't spend time at any cybercafe. Hate those places.
Anyway, it hits me today on how addicted I am on being online. Usually I couldn't care less about having a computer or notebook let alone being online. I spent most of my time staring at the idiot box for hours if I'm not attending to the kids. I wonder what triggers the addiction. Was it being able to finally get in touch with my long lost friend? Or just trying to keep my sanity after being stuck 24/7 with my beloved family? Hahaha...
When was the last time I ever had a real conversation with my friends? a couple of months back? Or was that last year? Seriously, I have even beginning to be forgetful a couple of times. You know the one the moment when you walked into a room and wondering what were you doing there? It happens to me every single day. I was supposed to bring down some diapers from upstairs but ended up with towels to wash. Had to run to get diapers before Imran or Hani started to leak all over the house.
I registered friendster, facebook, even twitter for the sake of my friends were having them. But now I find it very interesting in a way to keep in touch with just the click of a button. Hahaha.. So lame. I wonder what would happened if I keep myself away from the computer for a month? Hmm.. I know I can survive for a week. Hehe.. That ain't right. I can restrain myself from blogging for one week. But not blog-hopping. Geez, I better figure out how to handle this obsession before it gets worse.
Time to log off!

Finally.. a family vacation

2008-10-10T00:18:00.002+08:00

Even if it was only for one night, we had a blast at Genting Highland. Apart from waiting 1 hour and 40 minutes for check-in at First World Hotel, the whole trip was wonderful. We booked our hotel room from their official website, but unfortunately that did not guarantee us a faster check-in. Hahaha....
Anyway, after settling our luggage and diaper duty, we went straight to the indoor them park. Imran was excited to for the rides. He enjoyed almost all except for the junior bumper car. I guess it's kind of too soon to introduce my son to a somewhat violent rides. Of course we try the roller coaster. Hubby just couldn't bear to enjoy that by himself. Poor him. Being a good husband and father some times sucks! Huhuu...
The initial plan was to stay at the park until midnight. Enjoying all the rides until closing time. But around 9 pm Imran was tired and started to throw tantrums. Can't really do anything though. Even Hubby and I was exhausted. Hani had her nap at her own sweet time since we had to take turns to carry her. No stroller this time. So she was pretty much enjoying every second of it.
We surrendered ourselves to our not-so-cosy room, and immediately went to bed. One thing which pissed me of that night was when I was having such an interesting night with Hubby,(for ocne he was listening to what I was saying), we were interrupted by one phone call. I will enver fogive that person because it totally ruined my night. Well, not totally. We were able to continute our conversation after a few discussion of the strange call. Hahah...
The next day, we went for the cable car. I made a complete fool out of myself when I screamed when the gondola went out of the building. Poor Hubby and Imran. They were both scared. Hubby has a thing with heights, but he was braver than I was. He even scolded me for scaring Imran. As for Hani, she fell asleep throughout the journey.
All in all, we had a wonderful time. Minus the very disappointing stop at Bukit Tinggi (the one with the golf course). There's nothing there!! I should have listen to dB. Hehehe..
I'll update photos later. Hubby's using the camera. And I just finished fixing the computer. Apparently my cpu cooling fan is loose and the power cable for the hard disk is too. Remember how back in the univ days we don't put on the cover for the casing? Well, mine is just like that. It's not closed because I still need to do some fixing with the cables. Just hope I can still remember what I've learned back in the univ days. Hahaha..

She made my day meaningful!!

2008-10-04T04:22:00.002+08:00

No, this time it's not about my kids. But my MIL. She said a statement that really made my day. On the 2nd day of raya. At one of the houses we visited. She made a remark which gives me some kind of relief thinking I'm not alone in this world. And by doing so she admits to me and herself of the problem I have been facing.
Thank you so much for the statement Mak! And to have you say it without me saying anything is so priceless. Better yet you were not even talking to me. You were having conversation with your family and announced it to them. Hahaha.. what a joke that was.
To my friends and readers, I'm sorry for not being more clear but this matter needs to be concealed because of it's sensitive issue. It can and will hurt other people's feeling.

Complete exhaustion

2008-10-04T01:59:00.003+08:00

After 3 excruciating days, we can finally get to stay home before heading for an open house for dinner. Not to rest or energy recovering moment, but to finish up house cleaning. The entire house needed a seriously overhaul. Hahaha...
I know I said I'll post some photos during Raya but thanks to dearest Hubby, we don't have any. I'm serious, we don't have family photos. I'm not joking here. Hahaha.. Poor Hubby. I'm attacking him in a public blog. Sorry Hon! Not really his fault. Just we completely forgot to check for tripod. Kept ASS-U-ME-ing that we kept it in somewhere in the our house when we didn't even picked it up from IL's place. Huhuu.. Nevermind, we can just dressed up to take photo next time. Yeah right! Taking photos with Imran and Hani? It has to be done by professionals only.
Anyway, on the first day we gathered at aunty's place in KRU and stayed there until around 3 pm and started the journey to BA to meet up with my parents. Stayed there until around 6 pm and agreed on meeting them either at Shah Alam or Subang after 'Isyak. Around 8.30 pm Mom called saying they're on their way to Uncle's place in Subang. Greeted with KFC and Pizza Hut. My Mom was furious but didn't day anything. Fast food for raya? Hahaha.. My parents stayed at our place for a night and decided to go back to Jengka the very next day.
2nd day, we traveled all the way to Rawang to visit Hubby's distant relatives. All in all we went to 8 houses. By the time we arrived home, our tummy was bulging and everyone was so exhausted that we kind of passed out once we hit the bed. I can't believe we went to 8 houses and eat all those meal. I don't think I can take it anymore. Hahaha...
3rd day, this time we went to Banting. This time was a lot less houses to visit. 3 to be exact. Hehe... I was not so tired but Hubby was already not feeling so well. His body had started to ache. Can't blame him though, he's been driving 3 days in a row. This is nothing like driving to work.
This weekend will be spent either full-blown rest or an all-out house cleaning. I'm praying for the cleaning. Dirty laundry piling up. Dear God! please give me the strenght for tomorrow. And Hubby of course! I need him to clean the toilets.