Thinking of starting back the blog. Then again will I make time for maintenance or just update after say.. few months? Huhuhu... Really need to get a better in time management.

Below is the latest addidion to my family. He was born on 4th of January 2012 at 27 weeks. Stayed 2 months at the hospital before we could bring him home. It was a long journey to health but we both made it. Didn't we Sweetheart? My Ashraf Hadi bin Mohd Azli.

Have you ever felt alone in life,
Felt no-one cared for you?
Or been out with group of friends,
And felt alone then too?
Have you ever had a broken heart,
You felt couldn't be repaired?
Or to touch somebody with your words,
But knew nobody cared?
Have you ever needed good advice,
But were too afraid to call?
Or felt separated from the world,
Surrounded by a brick wall?
Have you ever been asked about your future,
And said you couldn't care less?
Have you ever felt so confused,
That you couldn't even cry?
Have you ever felt so damn depressed,
Have you ever wished to die?

Should I start blogging again?

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Recovery period?

I can't seem to find any words nor time to write on this blog. Though the purpose of purchasing notebook and smart phone was to be able to get in touch with friends via network instead of having a cuppa at Starbucks.

But ever since the tragedy, I find it even harder to write. Even though I looked as if I've fully recovered, there were times where I just feels like giving up everything and run off to just let all the pain subside. Unfortunately it doesn't. I'm still waiting for time to help me heal...

Dear God! I missed her so much. I missed our late evening conversation while I'm driving home from work. I missed to the argument we both have when it comes to obeying husband's request. (Her daughter does not bow to his commands... Hahaha) I missed the moment where we would dissed out our thought about my siblings. Sorry guys... Can't help it. I'm pretty sure you guys talked about me too.

Hubby offered himself in case I need someone to talk to. But it just doesn't work that way. I know he is supposedly my other half. But I need a mother's word of wisdom. No, it didn't work with my mom-in-law either. It just had to mom.

Some people might find it hard to understand how in the world did I get to be so close with my mom. trust me it was not easy. It took us 25 years to get able to talk about feelings. After I got married, she mellowed.... Before that she was a tough lady you just do not want to mess with. I felt like having a headmistress in the house. Hahaha.. Kidding!! Guess at one point she realized her girls are all grown up.

One thing I love about my mom, she does not sugar coat life. Her advice was no matter how hard life treat you, you still have a choice to be happy. Whatever happens, no matter what the consequences will be, the choice is yours to make. People can say whatever they want but it doesn't necessarily will do you any good. What matter's is what's your heart is saying, what's your conscious is hinting. Basically what does you guts telling you.

So right about now.. my whole body is giving me a sign to let them rest... Better log off now before I passed my bedtime.

Happy 3rd Birthday Rizqeen Hani

Happy 5th Birthday Imran Haris

11th of August - 1st Ramadhan

Below is just an excerpt from online news about the accident that took my mom's life. I'm still having a hard time to write. Perhaps another time...

KUALA LIPIS - Pengetua Sekolah Menengah Sultan Ahmad Shah, Cameron Highlands maut manakala suaminya yang memandu kenderaan terbabit cedera ringan apabila kereta yang mereka naiki terbabas ke bawah tebing.
Ketua Polis Daerah, Superitendan Abdul Razak Hassan berkata, mangsa, Nishah Ismail bersama suaminya, Ali Hussein Abdul Ghani yang juga Pegawai Pelajaran Daerah Cameron Highlands sedang dalam perjalanan ke Kuantan atas urusan kerja.
Menurutnya, kejadian terbabit berlaku kira-kira jam 4.30 petang kelmarin di Kilometer 27 Jalan Sungai Koyan - Cameron Highlands.
“Mangsa bersama suami menaiki kenderaan jenis CRV sedang dalam perjalanan dari Cameron Highlands ke Kuantan. Sampai di tempat kejadian, kereta yang dipandu suami mangsa hilang kawalan lalu terbabas ke kiri jalan dan masuk ke bawah tebing.
“Mangsa cedera parah di kepala dan meninggal dunia di tempat kejadian. Manakala suami mangsa hanya cedera ringan dan dirawat sebagai pesakit luar di Hospital Lipis,” katanya, di sini, kelmarin.
Abdul Razak berkata, mayat mangsa dibawa ke Hospital Lipis untuk dibedah siasat dan dituntut ahli keluarga sebelum dikebumikan di kampung asal arwah di Kota Bharu, Kelantan