Don't get me wrong. I'm not trying to list the pros and cons between the two. I just want to make a note to myself of why I have chosen to work and leave my kids at home with a stranger.
When I finished my degree, it is the obvious you have to find work immediately. Especially when you have plan to pay back your student loan. Not to mention if you delay on the job hunt, the interview session would not be impressive. Since I got engaged right after my final exam, I have no time to think. Just grab the first job offered and make myself ready for anything. Till now, I never regret working with my colleagues. They were the best team ever!! Doesn't matter that I have to work on holidays but they just make it easier for me to go through it.
Then came the baby. Hubby and I decided that I should quit and look for a normal working hour job. So I did. But ends up 3 years unemployed but helping out with his business. Not exactly a SAHM right? I spend 12 hours at the shop with my baby. Lucky me I have a very understanding MIL. She helped out to take care of Imran when I was carrying Hani. One thing about Imran, his tantrums and demands is still under control. Not sure if this has anything to do with being the first-borne on the fact that I have already left him with third party since he was a baby.
Then came Hani. Goodness this girl can really drive me crazy!!! She was not so demanding and I had very good hope that she'll be the good girl as she was a baby. But God knows what happen when she hit her puberty at the age of 1. Aarrgghh...!!! And this was when hubby decided he can no longer continue to pay for my loans as he has already started to pay for our house loan.
So I had to think and think very fast. After 3 years of taking care of the children, I could definitely take the break and get a paying job. But this has to be a very good paying job as I can already sense the stress attack knocking at my door. Don't get me wrong when I say a break. I mean a break from the children is a much needed time for all mothers. I left Imran with MIL around 5-6 hours but she will send him to me at the shop for his booby milk. I'm referring to the break where you can do anything you want or have to without the screaming kids around. And honestly speaking, I kinda like the work stress. Hahah! Though it can lead to a certain temper rupture at home, but I know it is still under control.
Although there's one thing that I noticed. I never gain weight before I started work. Within a year of working I already a few stone. Yes, I'm exaggerating. But I definitely gain weight. And I need to lose it fast. Hold on, now I remember. I use to go on the treadmill on daily basis but now is has become the spot to hang my tudung. So that's the reason. My eating has reduced but no work-out has definitely donated the weight gain. Well, self-discipline not exactly in the top list in my life dictionary.
Imran and Hani has yet to be attached to my maid. Even after one year with her, they still come running to me for everything. So it doesn't really make any different on the losing attention issue. But I really miss the walk-to-the-park session. I used to get Imran on his bike and Hani on the stroller and went to the park nearby our house. And now I'm either too tired or not at home. Weekend is always an outing day. And I find out that the kids is definitely not having a good time. So I would bribe them with books. Both have turned out to be an avid reader though none of them can read yet. Imran has taken interest on learning the words but right he's still memorizing. As for Hani, well, she has already demanding for me to read books. Gosh! if only I'm a SAHM I would have all the time to go to the park and read books to my kids. Then again, I don't think I can afford as many books as I have today.
