Weak or just plain old....

Last Thursday I had to call Hubby to come home early as I was unable to get up to prepare food for my kids. I was shivering like no one's business. I remember the last last I shivered severely like this was I got chickenpox. Ended up took the bus ride all the way to Jengka. Hahaha.. That was back in the single days of course. But today I was definitely defeated by fever. It was not even a high fever. Just the common viral fever. But I was down for 2 days straight. Then to make matter worse, Hani caught it right after I have gain my normal body temperature. Poor angel was so grumpy and moody that it really kills me to see how uncomfortable she was. Up till today she still has yet to gain her voice. Though she no longer has fever.
During the sick days, it really hit me that I seriously need to be prepared of sick days. I rarely get sick. Even if I do, never to the extend I was not able to get up and feed my kids. That was bad. Very, very bad. I felt so helpless. I have always believed I can beat any sickness. As long as I can take care of my family, I'll be fine. But what IF..?? With a family history of cancer, it's not exactly a pretty thought to have in mind. Then again I could be way off in the worry wart department. Huhuhu...
Maybe, just maybe I'm getting old. I know some of you who would definitely disagree with me. Don't get me wrong. We just don't have the energy of a 3-year old. We definitely don't have the healing ability of a 3-year old. Hahaha... How I wish I was 3 again... Sure, you can jump and get to see how well you can avoid the fall. And have your mom come running and screaming at you to stop doing whatever that is you're doing. How amazed you are that your mom has eyes and ears everywhere no matter how discrete you have tried to bully your sister. The complete ignorance to the fact that you can actually hurt yourself by jumping off the couch. What a bliss!!!!
Let's face the fact, I am definitely getting old. No matter how young at heart I may feel, my bones and muscles tell me otherwise. Either get in the program or keep by the phrase, ignorance is bliss and join in with my 3-year old boy in his game of torturing his darling sister. Huhuhu....

Have you ever?

Have you ever felt alone in life,
Felt no-one cared for you?
Or been out with group of friends,
And felt alone then too?
Have you ever had a broken heart,
You felt couldn't be repaired?
Or to touch somebody with your words,
But knew nobody cared?
Have you ever needed good advice,
But were too afraid to call?
Or felt separated from the world,
Surrounded by a brick wall?
Have you ever been asked about your future,
And said you couldn't care less?
Have you ever felt so confused,
That you couldn't even cry?
Have you ever felt so damn depressed,
Have you ever wished to die?

p/s: This poem was not written by blog owner nor does it reflects her life. An anonymous poet wrote this years ago and blog owner has kept it in her collection for no specific reasons.

Home at last...

I'm still exhausted from the long hour drive. Even though I did not drive but somehow I ended up with pain in the back. Not to mention the one on the arse. Huhuh....
Dearest Hubby told me it's a 2-night stay. And I packed just enough for 2-night stay with a few extra clothes for the kids. When MIL told us we're spending 2 nights in Penang, I gave Hubby a very mean glare which he understood that I have not packed enough clothes. Hahaha.. Not to mention diapers!!! Thank goodness the owner of the apartment in Penang has provided us with a washing machine. Huhu.. It has been quite some time that I need to hang dry my laundry. Tedious! Not to mention taking turns with MIL as she was doing her share of laundry too.
Anyway, due to Hubby's lack of energy (being the sole driver continuously for4 days), my kids rarely got the chance to spend time in the swimming pool. Plus we were having quite a hard time with Imran. He has found a phobia with deep water. Even with floaters on both arms and holding tightly to me or Hubby, he will start to scream and cry if his feet does not touch the floor. Trust me when I said nothing bad has happen to my son to make him scared of the deep pool.
When we finally arrived home, I realized how much I will not miss the family trip. Imran and Hani was behaving good throughout the long drive. But at some point when Imran starts to throw tantrums, I was not able to scold him. Let alone smack his hand for hitting his sister. I have nothing against my MIL. She's the dearest soul I have ever met. But if anyone knows my kids, they do have my tantrums as I have explained in previous post. And with my temper, who's to know the limit of my patience handling misbehaving kids. Hahaha...
Ya Allah... Please save my children from Your wrath as well as mine... Amiiinn...
LAUNDRY TIME!!!!!!!!

Out of this state

In few hours time we'll be on our journey towards North. Hubby's cousin is getting married tomorrow. Due to some poor planning. (hahaha.. Hubby's going to kill me) We have decided to drive all night long and try our best arrive at dawn. we'll carpol with his parents so the backseat will be a little bit crowded but I'm pretty sure MIL will make sure her grandkids will be as comfortable as they can. Talk about going all out just for sake of the kids, who would be sleeping all the way (Oh God! Please let them sleep soundly all the way!), whilst I'm preparing myself for leg cramps.
On Sunday we're going to head to Penang for a night stay. Not sure where to spend the night yet. Huhu... Just leave that to MIL. She's the best at planning family trips. Seriously! She's good....
Anyway, I'll be out for a couple of days. As if I'm blogging on daily basis. Hahaha... I'm sure no one will miss me that much!
Have a good weekend to all!!!!

10 years ago....

Hubby brought back boxes of our stuffs from MIL's place. She had kindly cleared our room. Found old photos from my younger years. Hahaha...

I can barely remember who's who in this photo but I do remember some of the activities we did during the course. It was held in Terengganu. Can't remember the exact name. Was it Bukit Kelawang or something? I remember carrying few chicken eggs in my fanny pack when we went for jungle trekking. Yes! I am guilty of using one back then. Doing abseiling was not so fun when our facilitator wanted me to do it head first. Hahaha...

p/s: I have no idea how many times I've edited this post. Too many typo error. I seriously need to brush up on my vocabulary as well as grammar. Dictionary and Thesaurus will be on my next shopping list. HAHAHA

Summary

Saturday (8/11/2008)

My one and only sister's birthday. She turns 27. Complaining about how she's having difficulty to find the right man to settle down and starts a family. Had to remind her do not put my happy family as the benchmark for yours!! Hahaha..

Got ready late morning and drove to Nilai. Hubby wanted to check on his rental apartment. The previous tenant has not paid 3 months rental and has been given warning to get out or we'll clear the apartment for him. Hubby was definitely ticked off by this guy. Late payment every month. Had to reminded every single day to bank-in the money. And now, after Hubby threatened to increase the rental, he agreed to move out. That's settled. now to get new tenant. But firstly we need to check the place. Just how much damaged has been caused by this guy. Dining, living, kitchen area was all right. Unfortunately not the master bedroom. There's a leakage from upstairs. To all who has neighbours upstairs you would know the hassle to get them to pay for repairs. So Hubby decided to paint over them first on the advice of the maintenance guy of course.

Sunday (9/11/2008)

Another trip to Nilai. It's cleaning time. Packed ourselves with paint brushes and cleaning clothes, we were ready to clean up the mess previous tenant has left. Lucky for us, the kids was behaving quite well. Apart from the fact there's no entertainment from the loyal idiot box. Haha..
Came home to a messy house. I've already cleaned the living and kitchen area but still awaiting time and energy to do the rest of the house. Can't even get myself to fold the laundry! Huhuh.. exhausted!!!
Monday (10/11/2008)
Woke up to an empty freezer. Thought of doing grocery shopping and have lunch outside. Hubby reminded me MIL going to pick me and the kids after Dzuhur. We're spending the night at Rawang. So I have to pack thing for overnight stay. I hate packing. Especially when you discover that you forgot to pack extra clothes for the kids. Not to forget I keep forgetting to pack floaters for the kids to use in the pool. I can never get tired of listening to people reminding me that. Especially when I have to pack for three and a half. Hahaha.. Hubby can pack for himself. But I just like to get annoyed by doing it for him. Sounds pathetic? It is!
Tuesday(11/11/2008)
On the way back, we made a stop at IKEA. I was wearing flip-flops with t-shirt and jeans. Seems like a 'bibik' rather than a mother of two. Not to mention we had our lunch at Waroeng Penyet. Sheeshh... Arrived home, went straight to the washing machine. I had a mountain of dirty laundry. Bedsheets, blankets, towels which was supposed to be done on Monday. So there I was, clearing up laundry and trying to think what to have for dinner. Decided on frankfurters, scrambled egg with cheese and toasts. Breakfast meal became dinner for us. Well, at least Imran was not complaining. He finished 3 frankfurters.
Oh and I have to prepare for assessment test the next day. 10 am at Glenmarie.
Wednesday (12/11/2008)
Went for the assessment test. Stopped at Tesco for 2 days groceries. Arrived home exhausted. Wanted to take a nap. Ended up playing pack rat and bubble town. Hahaha....
So there, the boring life of moi!

For my dear sweet Hubby...

Sweet Sour Siakap for tonight's dinner.

When did I stopped cuddling Imran?

Every day I will cuddle Hani until she squeals for freedom. I'll hug her as tight as I can and she'll enjoy the first few kisses and then starts to scream for me to let go. Hehehe.. She smells so nice. Babies do. Then I realized I have not cuddle Imran for quite some time. I know I always do that to him too. But when did I stop doing so? I even asked Hubby about it. Obviously he wouldn't know about it either.
Don't get me wrong. I do give Imran and occasional cuddle when I can. It's just that Imran kept pushing me away. Has he grown out of cuddling? He enjoys hugging, though. And he really love to put his arm around Hani at night. Even though Hani hates it. She's not exactly a cuddling type actually. She can refused cuddling even when she's already fallen asleep.
I missed cuddling Imran and Hani at the same time. We use to sit on the sofa and watch cartoon with both of them on my lap. Nowadays, they even ignored me at some point. As long as I'm within 2 metre-radius, they're fine. It not, one will start screaming for me.
I'm going to bed. One thing both my kids can't seem to let go is. Sleeping on the same bed. Apparently Hubby is comfortable enough sleeping on the single mattress meant for Imran. It's just wish I could be the one between Imran and Hani so I can hug them both. Unfortunately, I'm the culprit that separate Imran from Hani. Huhuhuhu.....

My apology goes out to Knufflebunneh!

Few days ago, I admit to a friend that I am one of those disrespectful people who chose not to return their shopping cart to it's rightful place. Though I do not block any parking spaces nor the road, I feel terrible for not returning the cart. And today I did it again!
Ever since I go grocery shopping without Hubby, I seems to have lost the ability of being a responsible person. You see, my excuse is this. When you lave heavy loads of wet and dry groceries, you tend to chose the easy path. Strapping two kids in the car, making sure everything is inside and paid for, keys are in place and the list goes on, the easiest way to handle the cart is moving it out of the way. Of course that goes to other people's way too. I'm not that selfish.
But to the people who have been a victim of my lack of responsibly and respect. I am very sorry! Please accept my humble public apology. This is not a joke. I am serious. I know how it feels to have disrespectful people leaving their cart right in the middle of the parking space.

My first attempt

That's right. After so many times I've told myself I need to learn to cook traditional delicacy. Here's to me... Huhuh..
MIL gave us a bunch of sweet potatoes which I know we're going to have a hard time finishing just by steaming and boiling. So I took this chance to try my culinary skills. So there!
The name I have been informed is Cek Mek Molek. Is there any other names I should know about?

A hypocrite?

hyp-o-crite

1 : a person who puts on a false appearance of virtue or religion

2 : a person who acts in contradiction to his or her stated beliefs or feelings

How do you feel when someone accused you of being a hypocrite? I was stunned. A bit blur too. What exactly did I do to make people think that, I wonder? Maybe I am a hypocrite. Then again why do you care? Hahaha... So does everyone else. According to the definition above it seems that everyone else is guilty as I am. Who in their right mind would want to show how they exactly feels all the time? Would you actually say to a person you hate their guts just to avoid being a hypocrite? I know I won't. I just keep my big mouth shut and get on with my blissful life.
Anyway, someone asked me a quite interesting question. How can I be so content with my life? Does that sound right? Hehehe... It took me a few days to actually realized that I am happy with my life. I am definitely content. I don't really remember the last time I cried myself to sleep. After 3 years of being a housewife, I have finally accept it. Ironically, Hubby just asked me to get a good-paying job within this month. Hahaha... The thought of going into the rat-race definitely bugs me. But after a few days of applying for jobs online, I have become a little bit excited. Hahaha... calm down. I haven't even got any interview offer yet.
Last year someone asked me have I ever had any disagreement with Hubby. She was trying to ask have I ever had a fight with Hubby. Of course we fight! It's just a matter of how you handle it. If you tend to dwell on the fact he's not the perfect guy for you, then your marriage is doomed. However, if you remember how his quirkiness stole your heart and turned you into the biggest jelly, then the sacrifices you make could well be worth all the pain. Just remember we're not that perfect either.
If you think I have the perfect marriage. Yes I believe do.